Possible retirement at 54/ Bill's Medical Malady
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eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:42 am quote
Thank you.

I do feel a bit bad but this is the very reason that I don't make eye contact with homeless people.

It's because I don't want to talk to you.

I'm hanging.

Tomorrow is my big consultation in London and I'll find out if these new meds are doing their job.

I always get nervous before these big pokey pokey sessions.

Bill x
Molto Verboso
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Tue Aug 06, 2019 6:49 am quote
Best of Good Health to You
Bill Dog,

Sorry, I missed this entire email tread. I sincerely hope everything goes
well. This getting older stuff is a pain - with much of our time spent trying to dodge health problems. I previously posted that you are one of those unique characters that comes along in life.

As unique, you have contracted a CML condition that affects .00057% people annually in the USA. Further, it seems. they have no idea what initially triggers it except older age.

I say: You are rough, gruff and to tough to bluff and will push this condition away for many long enjoyable years.

Bob Copeland
Frost Bite Falls Minnesota

Hey, you could be riding a scoot in the MN North Woods, get bitten by
a Deer Tick and get Lyme Disease. Same Crappy Luck!
eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:11 am quote
Stretcher
Thanks Bob.

That's a very kind sentiment and it's sweet of you to say it.

Yup, one day for no reason your bone marrow starts throwing out more white cells than it should until your blood turns into porridge which is when you end up in hospital.

I may have said this before but if all the meds in their arsenal can't stop the process then they will bomb out my bone marrow with chemo and then fill up the gaps with someone else's then watch it grow.

Simple eh ?

I'll take this over Lyme Disease any day of the week.

000.57 ? Talk about random.

Bill x
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Tue Aug 06, 2019 11:40 am quote
London meet
Hi Bill if you are in London having treatment etc tomorrow.. that's the 7th maybe you'd like me o pop by for some moral support.
I'm in the London Bridge area.. so maybe you are visiting a central London hospital.
Let me know time and place, if ok.
fingers crossed Gass silver machine gts 250
eeee-bip
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Tue Aug 06, 2019 12:26 pm quote
Rush
Thanks for the offer but I've been doing these visits solo for the past year and a half so I'll be OK.

I'm often kept waiting for an hour until I'm seen at "Kings" so that's not going to be much fun for you so hold fire and we'll meet up next week ?

I do appreciate the offer though.

Bill x
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Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:00 pm quote
Kings
Ok mate.. see you at Rykeas
gass silver machine gts 250
eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Thu Aug 08, 2019 12:59 am quote
For those who are interested.
I was .30 yesterday.

20190808_095528_resized.jpg

eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Thu Aug 08, 2019 1:19 am quote
Clocks Part 2
It's a good job that you didn't come Gass.

On Monday I waited and hour and a half for a 5 minute consultation.

On Wednesday I waited two hours for a ten minute consultation.

Bless the NHS.

Bill x
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Thu Aug 08, 2019 4:09 am quote
wait
Hi Bill, sorry about your wait times.
Over here in Brent /Hammersmith and Fulham areas, my appointment times are always right to the minute.
Also at Guys, and St Marys when it's been emergency stuff.
Gass
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Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:19 am quote
Re: For those who are interested.
Bill Dog wrote:
I was .30 yesterday.
From what I read, you were at 28% January 2018 and now you're down to 0.30%. If that's a good trend I'm glad and will keep praying for Bill Dog.
When the congregation asked me who is Bill Dog, I said he goes by Ironbutt. Shoulda seen their expressions.
Find a nice nurse yet? Apparently you have plenty of time to search while waiting for the doctor.
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Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:23 am quote
she'll do nicely

Nurse.png

eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Thu Aug 08, 2019 7:32 am quote
Supercuts
All of the staff are delightful it's just the waiting for hours in Oncology Departments with people far sicker than me brings me down a touch.

That probably sounds selfish but I feel guilty because compared to them I'm not physically suffering.

The side affects of the drugs are actually worse than the condition itself.

I feel like a bit of a fraud because I'm often surrounded by older patients and their partners whose expressions are those of uncertainty and fear.

I'm often the only one left smiling.

Bill x
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Thu Aug 08, 2019 8:57 pm quote
Re: Supercuts
Bill Dog wrote:
All of the staff are delightful it's just the waiting for hours in Oncology Departments with people far sicker than me brings me down a touch.

That probably sounds selfish but I feel guilty because compared to them I'm not physically suffering.

The side affects of the drugs are actually worse than the condition itself.

I feel like a bit of a fraud because I'm often surrounded by older patients and their partners whose expressions are those of uncertainty and fear.

I'm often the only one left smiling.

Bill x
Every time I've been in for a check, I've had the same feeling: thankfully, I'm doing pretty well at 63, ut see people in much worse shape, and frequently either no older, or noticeably younger.

Having followed this thread from the start, you should absolutely not feel guilty. Clearly there are those who likely have it tougher, but the fact that they're there means they're getting tended to as well, hopefully with the same attention.
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Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:09 am quote
I feel your pain Bill. But hang in there when waiting for oncology. I've been lucky. I'm about to have my surgery in two days and I'll be laid up for 6-8 weeks but fortunately my waiting time has been just weeks and appointments have gone very smoothly and on time.

I too had a nice lady charity worker offer me lots of help during a hospital wait, financial and otherwise. I let her say her piece and I've got to say it was interesting. They can often do a lot to help. Like you, I didn't need it.

Hoping we can have that meet when we are both healthy enough. I'll keep in touch. Best of luck to you Bill.

Ian
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Fri Aug 09, 2019 1:32 am quote
... let me understand Bill ... excuse my little tact...
You're improving, you're stationary or ... ehm...
eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Fri Aug 09, 2019 4:18 am quote
Count
I'm improving but very slowly.

When it reaches 0.01 we'll be pretty much there.

They have to run through a list of drugs until they find the key to the lock and if they don't they will take out my bone marrow.

I'd like to explain that I didn't want to be disrespectful to the lady fronting the charity but I do believe that when you decline an offer that should be the end of it.

Just like a first date, No means No and if I decline it's because I'm a responsible adult and I've made an informed choice.

If you keep asking me the same questions but in a different way the answer is still going to be No.

Bill x
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Sat Aug 10, 2019 12:46 am quote
Re: Count
Bill Dog wrote:
I'm improving but very slowly.

When it reaches 0.01 we'll be pretty much there.

They have to run through a list of drugs until they find the key to the lock and if they don't they will take out my bone marrow.


Bill x
Bill so good youíre improving, a little in this business is always a lot...

Iím at 0.0 now, but the road in Myeloma always ends with a transplant if your health permits, so Iím scheduled for a new bone marrow after the summer. Fortunately I have a full compatible donor and Iím convinced everything will go well.

Hope you find your way soon.

The beer in the south of Spain is still waiting for us!

Jose.
eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Mon Aug 12, 2019 11:48 pm quote
Tests
I'm hoping to avoid that by running through the gauntlet of drugs they have available until one does the job.

I think that this is the 4th one they have tried and so far it has the least amount of side effects.

My short term memory is still awful and thinking in a linear fashion for any amount of time is difficult but apart from that I'm pretty much the same asshole that I was a year and a half ago.

Bill x
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 12:47 am quote
Post
I think that the thing that bothers me most that I don't know if what I'm doing is the right thing by not returning to work.

I've had a couple of offers from dealerships but I'm reluctant to go back as an idea that I had 5 minutes ago vanishes with such regularity I'm not sure would actually be a help rather than a hindrance.

I guess I'm lucky in the fact that I don't have to work at the moment but I'm also afraid that I'm going to be away for so long that when they finally get me back on track I won't want to.

Occupying my days by keeping fit isn't difficult but it does feel like I'm treading water while I wait for good news.

Also each time I visit Oncology I often see patients in a far worse condition than me which hints at a possible future but that's a thought that I try not to dwell on.

Bill x
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:12 am quote
Just caught up on this, sorry to hear, but it seems to be getting better! I hope that continues.

On the work front: I would be totally honest and open with the people making the offers and tell them what you are writing here. If they still want you why not consider it?
Ossessionato
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:21 am quote
Are any of the offers for part time employment?
Could be worth a go to make it easier to return properly, and the money would still be handy.
eeee-bip
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:30 am quote
Gel
I think because I don't want to let anybody down.

I'd much rather know it's the right time to go back rather than misjudge it.

The people who have invited be back have been very understanding as to why I've declined which is cool.

I may have already said this but try to picture that you're listening to someone talk and something they say reminds you of a detail that you'd like to share.

Because you don't want to interrupt you wait patiently until they have finished talking and then you forget what you were going to say.

That happens a lot.

Bill x
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 9:33 am quote
Slice
I don't need the money right now.

The positions were full time.

Bill x
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:06 am quote
Quote:
picture that you're listening to someone talk and something they say reminds you of a detail that you'd like to share.
Because you don't want to interrupt you wait patiently until they have finished talking and then you forget what you were going to say.

Same thing happens to me. I can loose a train of thought mid-conversation. Embarrassing and concerning. So I saw a neurologist for questions and answers. He ordered a brain scan which thankfully was negative. Then he told me reasons for forgetfulness:
family history- mom has Alzheimer
medical condition- I am on an insulin pump and had by-pass
stress- I am a Sales and Marketing Director with 106 salesmen
age- 63
and I forgot the rest

Welcome to the club of fleeting memory!

Regards to all, Ralph


don't forget.png

eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:13 am quote
Upper
Yeah I should just give up now shouldn't I ?

Bill x
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:24 am quote
Never, ever give up. Your worth fighting for.

Besides our church ladies will be disappointed after praying for Iron Butt.
eeee-bip
Benelli TNT 125 "Bean Alley" Kymco AK550 The War to end all Wars
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:28 am quote
Claim
I must thank them all personally one day.

Bill x
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Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:05 am quote
We don't seek accolades, just offer spiritual help.

A picture of Mr Butt would be appreciated as your avatar cannot be printed.
eeee-bip
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Wed Aug 14, 2019 5:59 am quote
Going
There is a strange disconnection going on.

It's a little weird after having worked for about 38 years then having to halt that pattern because something more important than employment steps in and derails you.

It's a bizarre novelty to be witnessing the world going on without you as you focus on the things that really need addressing.

Yes you have vital stuff to address but as you've had to remove yourself from the machine you start to see it as an outsider, latterly with a fair amount of disdain.

When you're in it you don't really see it. Once you've left it feels like a monster.

A bit like leaving a destructive relationship I guess.

Twice a day you see lines of traffic filled with faces who really would be rather be doing something else which is frankly quite depressing and the worst faces are on the buses.

Stepping away form my employer a year ago was without question the right thing to do and I have to admit I don't miss getting out of bed for someone else but making the adjustment from 12 hour days to keeping myself occupied has been a little difficult.

Yes I can walk all day in between hospital visits and I have a couple of bikes that I can ride but they are more about distraction than purpose.

I'm not complaining, it's just strange seeing something that you were part of not miss you, nor do you miss it.

I hope that makes sense.

Bill x
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Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:26 am quote
Yes Bill it does make sense. I believe the root cause is trying to fill your days with something fulfilling. Here we have volunteers delivering meals to those which cannot fend for themselves. It's called meals on wheels; you deliver a lunch to someone in need and are overwhelmed with the good feeling inside. Sometimes you have wonderful conversations with the needy.
OR maybe it's time to seek part time employment which you've been offered as a service tech.
Sad faces on the way to work are typical but it beats hunting and gathering on your own. Want to see sad faces, take a rush-hour ride on a New York City cattle car subway where your holding a pole under someones arm and touched all over by strangers. Certain races give off cultural aromas and after awhile you know who to stand next to, unless you want to smell curry, garlic or body oder at 6 AM on the way to work.
Keep fighting and find something that provides happiness or satisfaction for yourself.
eeee-bip
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Wed Aug 14, 2019 9:40 am quote
Rash
Lets be clear on this, there is no fighting involved.

I take the medication, I keep as fit as possible and I try to keep my weight down to prevent any side affects.

They test my blood 3 times a month to see if the meds are working and I remain philosophical throughout.

A fight is something that you're actively involved and I'm not. I'm a passenger.

I do as I'm told and the drugs do their work.

Sorry.

Bill x
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Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:16 am quote
Re: Rash
Bill Dog wrote:
Lets be clear on this, there is no fighting involved.

I take the medication, I keep as fit as possible and I try to keep my weight down to prevent any side affects.

They test my blood 3 times a month to see if the meds are working and I remain philosophical throughout.

A fight is something that you're actively involved and I'm not. I'm a passenger.

I do as I'm told and the drugs do their work.

Sorry.

Bill x
'Fighting' might be the wrong word. But its not far off.

There's a great line from the film 'The Shawshank Redemption' that goes: "Get busy living or get busy dying...".

I think we can all agree which side of that choice you have always been on. So, when well meaning people tell you to 'fight', what we're really saying is don't change your outlook.

Instead of 'Get busy living...', perhaps 'Stay busy living...' might be more apt.
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Thu Aug 15, 2019 7:35 am quote
Re: Going
Bill Dog wrote:
There is a strange disconnection going on.

It's a little weird after having worked for about 38 years then having to halt that pattern because something more important than employment steps in and derails you.

It's a bizarre novelty to be witnessing the world going on without you as you focus on the things that really need addressing.

Yes you have vital stuff to address but as you've had to remove yourself from the machine you start to see it as an outsider, latterly with a fair amount of disdain.

When you're in it you don't really see it. Once you've left it feels like a monster.

A bit like leaving a destructive relationship I guess.

Twice a day you see lines of traffic filled with faces who really would be rather be doing something else which is frankly quite depressing and the worst faces are on the buses.

Stepping away form my employer a year ago was without question the right thing to do and I have to admit I don't miss getting out of bed for someone else but making the adjustment from 12 hour days to keeping myself occupied has been a little difficult.

Yes I can walk all day in between hospital visits and I have a couple of bikes that I can ride but they are more about distraction than purpose.

I'm not complaining, it's just strange seeing something that you were part of not miss you, nor do you miss it.

I hope that makes sense.

Bill x
I'm getting the sense that you're feeling a lot like people do that are forced into retirement, either from aging out in their field, or one day the factory they've been working in for 40 years just shuts down. In a way, you're choosing right now not to work even though you have had offers, but yet you've been forced into this dilemma by illness, or, the treatment's side effects for the illness. Have you thought about taking one of the offers but telling them you'd like to test it out and only do say, a 4 hour shift? Come winter, when you may not be able to ride as much, you may feel even more 'antsy' than you seem to feel now.
eeee-bip
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Thu Aug 15, 2019 8:08 am quote
Mould
Yes I get the sentiment and I feel a little guilty about trying to draw a distinction between being told to fight when I don't see it as being a fight.

It's well intended and so it would be churlish to be critical of it. Forgive me.

I'm doing as I'm told and that's the extent of my input so the rest is just inconvenience and being patient.

It was unexpected I'll admit but when I compare what I'm experiencing to others that I meet in Oncology I really have nothing to complain about, so I don't.

A part time job would be a good idea but I'd have to pick when I could be there so my attendance would be irregular.

Not a bad idea though.

Bill x
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Thu Aug 15, 2019 9:43 am quote
You know, this idea that you need to work for somebody else to find purpose in your life needs to be reexamined. I say that as someone who did the same thing for many years, so I don't intend to criticize you or anyone else. I simply think substituting someone else's goals and objectives isn't really the answer, it is just easier. Yes, deciding what is important to you, what is rewarding to you, and figuring out how you want to spend the days of your life isn't always easy - but if you can't do it, who can?
eeee-bip
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Thu Aug 15, 2019 10:08 am quote
Gift
I don't mind if you do criticise me as it will only make me question what I'm doing and that, at the moment that's not a bad thing.

Lets face it I do spend much of my time criticising others* so what's good for the goose etc.

I don't believe that going back to work truly will give me purpose.

It will keep me occupied no doubt but my instincts are to wait and see if the meds can realign my bone marrow and go from there.

Figuring what the right thing to do next, now that will give me purpose.

Still at least the diets going well.

Bill x

20190815_124621_resized.jpg

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Thu Aug 15, 2019 1:11 pm quote
Never tried with "the Mediterranean diet" ..?
Half of the foods i see in that dish don't seem very light ...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mediterranean_diet
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Thu Aug 15, 2019 1:14 pm quote
Cal Count
It was more of a joke than anything.

Bill x
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Fri Aug 16, 2019 7:28 am quote
Re: Gift
Bill Dog wrote:
I don't believe that going back to work truly will give me purpose.

It will keep me occupied no doubt but my instincts are to wait and see if the meds can realign my bone marrow and go from there.

Figuring what the right thing to do next, now that will give me purpose.

Still at least the diets going well.

Bill x
I have been reading this thread for a few days now, finally got done reading it.
Everyone has chimed in with suggestions, offers to hangout etc. Seems to me that you have taken all the inputs and come to some conclusions for yourself.
Figuring out what the right thing to do next as you state is what you are doing, Id say stop figuring out and start just doing, if it is wrong you will fix it and correct it even though as you state you are the same asshole you were a year ago, your words...
I think for a person like you, the mind cant stay idle and you will figure out how to keep yourself occupied and stay socially engaged.
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Fri Aug 16, 2019 8:05 am quote
Re: Gift
baba12 wrote:
Bill Dog wrote:
I don't believe that going back to work truly will give me purpose.

It will keep me occupied no doubt but my instincts are to wait and see if the meds can realign my bone marrow and go from there.

Figuring what the right thing to do next, now that will give me purpose.

Still at least the diets going well.

Bill x
I have been reading this thread for a few days now, finally got done reading it.
Everyone has chimed in with suggestions, offers to hangout etc. Seems to me that you have taken all the inputs and come to some conclusions for yourself.
Figuring out what the right thing to do next as you state is what you are doing, Id say stop figuring out and start just doing, if it is wrong you will fix it and correct it even though as you state you are the same asshole you were a year ago, your words...
I think for a person like you, the mind cant stay idle and you will figure out how to keep yourself occupied and stay socially engaged.
Yes, but he's our asshole and we all wish him all the best. Obviously staying active is best and I believe Bill is doing that. We already lost one asshole in the last year so that's more than enough to last us a long time.... We can't have this place being warm and fuzzy all the time, now can we?

He calls them as he seems them and while I don't agree with him all the time it keeps the place alive and the conversation going.

Oh and Bill the Ural dealer said they should be picking up my 2019 Gear Up next week... The assembly will take them a while as I bought a LOT of add-ons but it will be soon... Apparently a lot of people are waiting for their 2019's as sales were incredibly strong after the engine upgrades and tweaks. I guess a lot of people were waiting to pull the trigger and this was the year.
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