Modern Vespa

I was leading a tour group in the Caribbean. After snorkeling one of the ladies complained that If I were doing my job properly I would have warned her that the water would be salty.

Why in hell did you take them snorkelling where the water was salty?

I hope someone overheard that and bought you a drink later.

Just got a call from my buddy across the border in South Carolina.

"Jess checkin' to see if you and Barb are up for smokin' up some critters tomorrow?"

Not too hungry right now.

This week i heard:-

Yellowcopter for helicopter,

and Cadillac converter for Catalytic converter.


Yahoo, look where I live.
Sir Paul.

Heard at our local DMV today,

"Can I get a temporary tag for the time being?"

My sister-in-law in Indianapolis reported hearing a customer in front of her in the post office queue ask "How long are these forever stamps good for?"

You should take a look here:

http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/

Really funny stuff.

It seems that hay-time is family time for farmers. I was helping my CONFUSED FARMER friend with his hay, and I was surprised at the turnout of family members who came to help. There were in-laws, distant cousins,and youngsters all pitching in. One of the things the younger or smaller ladies/girls do is drive the truck around the field at walking pace for the bigger folks to throw hay onto the trailer that is well, trailing behind .
One of the aforementioned young ladies is about 23yrs old, pretty as a picture, with a bubbly personality. I had taken a shine to her straight away, however the more she talked the more taken aback I was by her ignorance of and attitude to foreigners.

I had occasion to walk in front of the slow moving truck to move a bale of hay out of the way, when I heard:-

DAISY MAY... Hey Paul, look out, I have hit a foreigner with my truck before.
ME... I beg your pardon.
DAISY MAY... I run into foreigners with my truck, well Mexicans mostly.
The word "Mexican" was said with quite a bit of disdain, I was taken aback.
ME.. What did you say?
DAISY MAY... I had an accident where I hit a car drove by a Mexican.
At this point Daisy May's husband, sensing my disapproval perhaps, interjected" Honey, he was not Mexican, he was from Chile"

To my complete astonishment Daisy May replied
"Well he had a Mexican name! Roberto Hernandez. Why does he have a Mexican name if he is from someplace else?"
All of a sudden she was not even half as attractive as she had been mere minutes before.

Honestly, what is the world coming to?

Sir Paul.