Modern Vespa

Sometimes you have to issue a mea culpa for your eye rolls, and I think it's safe to say that this California boy feels the need to say a big "I was wrong" for the combination of bravado and snark (both here and that kept to myself) about the damned weather. That's right, I am sorry I have expressed sarcasm about the sheer number of "how do you ride when it's hot" threads on MV that I've seen over the last 7+ years I've been here (that snark notwithstanding).

That's right. The first year or two I was like, "oh, yeah, totally, riding while it's hot is uncomfortable" but it ain't a big deal. Then every year after that it became my equivalent of, "what is that plastic bubble and why is it filled with oil", or "what octane gas should I use?". Occasionally I'd weigh in and more often than not, I'd facepalm and slowly think to myself, "man. this is the stuff that makes the forum boring."

See, I consider myself a hard core rider. I have ridden across the US on a dicky vehicle that should barely be allowed on the road. I have ridden hundreds of miles in torrential downpours. The top of some of the highest summits in the US. Absurd dirt paths and logging roads. Etc., etc., etc. And yes, I've ridden through some of this nation's deserts at the worst times - July and August rides through the California central valley / death valley area, in triple digit heat, for a hundred plus miles, in full gear. Sometimes cordura, sometimes leathers.

Here's the thing though: these were deserts. There was no humidity. The sun beat down but as I sped across concrete I could feel the rush of wind through my helmet and let the rushing air whip across my face and cool me down.

As I mentioned in my last heat post, I found myself in the fine state of Nebraska for work, and the first thing this California boy discovered was that heat has a different (and much more oppressive) feeling when sufficient humidity is involved. The rushing air that would have cooled the skin of my face in a helmet instead carried tens of thousands of tiny, invisible droplets that were each like super-heated micro-hells that would encase my skin and sear it with the heat of a million suns baked in tinfoil.

Eff that shit. WTF.

Even in a car I felt no escape. As I drove around with the air conditioner at full and an incredible desire to strip down to my underwear (ignoring the fact that I would have stuck uncomfortably to the terrible pleather upholstery of my rented Chevy Cruze, which I do not recommend unless you want to forget every ounce of improvement that American cars have made in the last decade within a matter of milliseconds), I found no quarter. I contemplated my Aerostich Transit leathers and its weight and lack of ventilation. My mind wandered through every single armored jacket and pants combination I own (or have owned), and considered briefly whether or not I'd be able to get over the fear of losing several square feet of skin just to find relief in some boxers and flip flops while riding.

...and then it caught up to me. My snark and frustration at those threads - the judgment I levied towards others. Every time I opened up my rental car's doors after it sat at my office's parking lot for 9 hours and I gasped, I thought about the dismissive eye rolls and "pfffs" I let out as I saw yet another one of those threads...

It is a real problem. I may not be able to forgive the air filter 'bubble', but I will say, ask away. Find a solution to your problem, oh residents of those fine Midwestern and Eastern states. Though I may not truly know your experiences, I certainly have more sympathy, and will no longer give you the poops about it.

But y'all need to get a curve in your roads somewhere.

Especially for the curves!

The dew point has hit 80 here a number of times recently. When that much moisture is in the air it feels like you're breathing oatmeal. The thought of riding rarely crosses my mind when it's this beastly because even if I was riding in shorts and a t-shirt the wind passing over me would still be uncomfortably hot.

I don't know which is worse: beastly hot or beastly cold. I do know we get them both here in Kansas, usually with a 20-30 mph wind included. I will ride in both because if I didn't, I'd hardly ever get to ride at all.

I imagine Biggie Smalls rapping, "and if you don't know, now ya know".

It has been great so far this year, but lat year was serious. And I couldn't keep off my GTV, no matter how oppressive the heat was.

"I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fucking tell..."

Of really? So was it the rap lyrics that set you off this time?

See we do have things in common. In Nebraska we have the desire, in California you, well, are known to act on the desire. As long as your grandmother raised you right and you travel with clean undies, we're all good...

Great post, BTW.

Set me off? You quoted Biggie and I quoted him also.

It's not the heat it's the humidity. Your sweat can't evaporate.

Ok.

Hey guys calm down and have some Cool J cookies.

Thanks

I didn't once strip down in the car, don't you worry.

Maybe in the middle of Berry & Rye, but the circumstances were such that it made sense at the time.