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i dislike that 'guys' thing

i think it's a Todd'ism

"if you guys would like to follow me to your table.."

there used to be a band in the 70's called Guys n Dolls..

say no more!
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I don't like mate, but I realise that it's more of a verbal tic than any attempt to be overfriendly or offensive. I've lived in places where people greeted you with love and duck, and you understand that its well-meant and you learn to filter it out. However, those were places where 99% of people spoke the local dialect so those words were the norm. If I speak to a stranger in London they might be from Tooting or Timbuktu.

I don't get offended by it, and I realise that it's often just a way to try and oil the wheels of urban life, where strangers can sometimes be hostile - hence the "sorry mate" if you accidentally step on someone's toes on the Tube.

For some reason I have a stronger negative reaction to bruv or fella, but that's a problem in my own head: those words are just serving the same purpose.

Mostly I just wonder why anyone needs to add any extra word in at all. And it does annoy me when people use mate but omit "please". If I needed to ask a stranger the time, I'd say "excuse me, do you have the time, please?" rather than "hey mate, you got the time?". I realise that it's not meant to be rude, and maybe I'm more sensitive to it as I'm trying to drill please and thank you into our child at the moment.

The only people I tend to call mate are my friends (and I'd generally call them by their names anyway).
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Re: Mate/darling?
Rusty rope wrote:
Just wondering who thinks it's disrespectful to be called mate/darling by a stranger?

The reason I ask is because I work on checkouts in a supermarket and with my cockney self I always say "Hi mate" and "Thanks darling" to every customer. Yet this morning, the first time ever in my life (21 years) An old guy had a go at me for saying "Mate". His reply was "I'm not your mate, I've never met you and it's disrespectful, I would like you to call me sir" my first reaction was just to laugh thinking he was just kidding, but I soon realised he was serious.

After he paid for his shopping, he complained to my manager. Though she just laughed.

So do you consider it disrespectful? Or does the guy need to wind his neck in?
i would say,for a man regardless of age,is best to address as bro.for ladies,is best to address as miss.just my thoughts.cheers.
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genie wrote:
Titletownjeff wrote:
Next time hit the old ball buster with "Bro"
or 'bruv' - that'll wind him up
'ello gov'na ?
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The Mocker wrote:
stickyfrog wrote:
For all you people that hate being called guy. Can you elaborate on why? I am not getting it.
For me it all comes back to my 8th grade art teacher Mr. Penna who was a complete tool and called every male student guy in an annoyingly chummy way Laughing emoticon
Spike68 wrote:
stickyfrog wrote:
For all you people that hate being called guy. Can you elaborate on why? I am not getting it.
Not 'guy's but 'guys'...

I hated it anyway (no particular reason, just did) but getting called 'guys' (plural) even when I'm on my own? That's just plain stupid... made me hate it even more
OK so it is just a personal preference. Thought it might be some kind of offensive slang that on a few select people were privy too.

Stay away from Gloucester, MA then. They use "Youse guys" in place of "all of you" and it doesn't matter if they mean just you or a group.
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Well, someone had to say it:
"You can call me anything. Just don't call me late for dinner".

Here in The South, y'all seems to be a common appellation. According to some esoteric formula when addressing 1 - 2 people it's "Hi y'all". Three to lots it is "Hi all y'all". Or something like that.

E.g. "All y'all have a blessed day".
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I am an American that went to High School in London in the 1970's, so "Ta, mate" or "Sorry, mate" were pretty foreign to me. I came to terms with any regional sayings by the tone. If delivered in a friendly manner, great. If you said it like someone was holding your toe in a vise, it doesn't work.

Cheers!
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Mate no prob. Calling a female darling or hon with incur a snide comment. IMHO you have to know me before you can call me that and even then if you did i might get even. I had one Sprint woman (from Texas) that kept calling me hon and i wanted to strangle her thru the phone. I finally had to say i was from NY, we won the civil war and she better stop calling me that before i put a curse on her. It's a southern thing also. Hon is demeaning IMHO.
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DucatiSS wrote:
If delivered in a friendly manner, great. If you said it like someone was holding your toe in a vise, it doesn't work
you mean like "what you lookin at mate"

this usually preceeds a bloody nose
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fleece wrote:
DucatiSS wrote:
If delivered in a friendly manner, great. If you said it like someone was holding your toe in a vise, it doesn't work
you mean like "what you lookin at mate"

this usually preceeds a bloody nose
Exactly.
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No problemo,

maatje

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Hollandse Maatjes
⚠️ Last edited by Sakkerju on UTC; edited 1 time
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I don't mind it
Being a northerner I call people love,sweetheart, darling, all the time
Not at work though
The chap was obviously a bit sensitive.....
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Oh and at work occasionally I get
Called a variety of things
Pig, bitch, filth, slag
And that's just by my colleagues!
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Kittysaz wrote:
Oh and at work occasionally I get
Called a variety of things
Pig, bitch, filth, slag
And that's just by my colleagues!
Okay. I've heard most of them, but I'm from across the pond and what is a, "slag?"
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pdc10814 wrote:
Kittysaz wrote:
Oh and at work occasionally I get
Called a variety of things
Pig, bitch, filth, slag
And that's just by my colleagues!
Okay. I've heard most of them, but I'm from across the pond and what is a, "slag?"
Yea man. I like "slag." Sure would love to use it, but better know what it means before I start it up.

I use to call my wife "Honey Buckets" until her father, who grew up on a farm informed her what it was. Permanent scar from that.
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bleverone wrote:
pdc10814 wrote:
Kittysaz wrote:
Oh and at work occasionally I get
Called a variety of things
Pig, bitch, filth, slag
And that's just by my colleagues!
Okay. I've heard most of them, but I'm from across the pond and what is a, "slag?"
Yea man. I like "slag." Sure would love to use it, but better know what it means before I start it up..
It's a medical term for a Lady that has troubles keeping her legs together
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'Slag' means a dirty old whore
The sort of term which would get you a proper slapping.
'Slapper' is a similar term

Very derogatory
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Some people seem to be very tightly wound. Like me. I used to point out the various traffic mistakes or examples of less than stellar driving skills of others until I heard my father-in-law doing the same. Now, I keep my mouth shut and hope for the best.

I do use "mate" and "cheers mate" around the bar. I also use "hello chaps" when meeting my male friends on the street. I've also kept my "cheers" as a departing slogan from my days in London. For me it's a term of affection and familiarity.

I suggest to the OP that he now call this customer "his lordship", and go on with the "Todd" style of praise - "An excellent gherkin you've picked there m'lord!)
Perhaps he could tell the other people in line (after the "sir" departs), "You know you were standing with a lord just then!" and hope that the pillock hears it.

Remember that you could be dead tomorrow. Have some fun with things whilst you can.
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i call most of the delivery drivers that come in mate

but im on first name terms with the majority of them anyway
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I'm surprised no one has mentioned use of the royal "We." I find the question "So how are We today?" a truly annoying assumption on their part.

I never really pay attention to the "Mate/Hon" thing unless they are trying to sell me something, then I just go to someone else if I need sales help.
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When english is your second language, you need to be careful to not confuse 'guy' and 'gay'

Yes, it happens Facepalm emoticon
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Can I just say...I love maatjes
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hold the press
I think Todd's been sacked.

bill X
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Hmm, I do it all the time, mate or matey for the gents, love or sweetheart for the girls or ladies. Had a very stuck up woman wearing a fox stole complain about it. It's just a friendly Dublin thing though
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I think I would have preferred being adressed as "Sir" myself, something the grumpy old fart probably would have done had you sirred him in the first place...?! Go for "sir", in my opinion...
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Has anyone mentioned "Y'all" yet? Or the plural form, "All Y'all."
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Re: Mate/darling?
Rusty rope wrote:
After he paid for his shopping, he complained to my manager. Though she just laughed.
Wha? emoticon
And hence you turn to the interweb for advice on how to do you job. Make sure you bill them for your time here.
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Kittysaz wrote:
'Slag' means a dirty old whore
The sort of term which would get you a proper slapping.
'Slapper' is a similar term

Very derogatory
Thanks. I'll be very careful with that one...
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Spike68 wrote:
Not 'guy' but 'guys'...

I hated it anyway (no particular reason, just did) but getting called 'guys' (plural) even when I'm on my own? That's just plain stupid... made me hate it even more
Hah. Much the same as when a person says, "we'll see you later" and it is just the one person.
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bleverone wrote:
I use to call my wife "Honey Buckets" until her father, who grew up on a farm informed her what it was. Permanent scar from that.
Had some friends years back, he Scottish, his wife English. Said he used to jokingly call her "Me lovely midden." That only lasted until she got the translation.
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It's all about the tone, body language, situation.....etc. and forever.

I have tried to wrap my mind around this one. My mind is too small.

Most of the time it works. Sometimes you meet great people.

Sometimes it doesn't, and you meet great people.
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I don't understand why anyone would would be sensitive to what they are called with the exception of obviously derogatory terms.

In my corporation we are told we are on a first name basis with every one in said corporation. From the CEO down to the janitor we all call one another by first name. Customers are always to be addressed in a professional manner i. e. Sir, Ma'am, or Miss/Mrs. Even customers I've known for years and are personally on a first name basis get the professional greeting
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Techenigma wrote:
I don't understand why anyone would would be sensitive to what they are called with the exception of obviously derogatory terms.

In my corporation we are told we are on a first name basis with every one in said corporation. From the CEO down to the janitor we all call one another by first name. Customers are always to be addressed in a professional manner i. e. Sir, Ma'am, or Miss/Mrs. Even customers I've known for years and are personally on a first name basis get the professional greeting
You have struck upon an idea no one has thought of. Or something.
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Sometimes the name fits...

A guy is sitting in a run down dive having a beer. There is only a single woman at the end of the bar. He motions to the bartender and says," I'd like to buy that D-bag at the end of the bar a drink." The bartender scolds him and says he won't tolerate that kind of talk in his bar. The man tries again and says," I'd like to buy that hose-bag at the end of the bar a drink." Again the bartender says he won't tolerate insults to his customers. So, this time, the man says, "I'd like to buy that lady at the end of the bar a drink." The bartender nods and approaches the woman. He says," Madam, the gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink. What will it be?" She replies, "Vinegar and water."
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Belkwinith wrote:
As an older woman, I dislike it when a younger person calls me "Hun".
Calm down dear, it's only a word
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elyobelyob wrote:
Belkwinith wrote:
As an older woman, I dislike it when a younger person calls me "Hun".
Calm down dear, it's only a word
yep, it's a word for a member of a warlike Asiatic nomadic people who invaded and ravaged Europe in the 4th-5th centuries
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Re: Mate/darling?
Rusty rope wrote:
Just wondering who thinks it's disrespectful to be called mate/darling by a stranger?

The reason I ask is because I work on checkouts in a supermarket and with my cockney self I always say "Hi mate" and "Thanks darling" to every customer. Yet this morning, the first time ever in my life (21 years) An old guy had a go at me for saying "Mate". His reply was "I'm not your mate, I've never met you and it's disrespectful, I would like you to call me sir" my first reaction was just to laugh thinking he was just kidding, but I soon realised he was serious.

After he paid for his shopping, he complained to my manager. Though she just laughed.

So do you consider it disrespectful? Or does the guy need to wind his neck in?
I am not going to say that the guy is not a grumpy old man, but I can probably give you some insight as to where he is coming from. Like you, I work in a service industry. The term 'Mate' implies a degree of familiarity between you and the person you are addressing. It is a term I use to greet friends and acquaintances, but not customers who are unfamiliar to me.

If the person you are addressing is not familiar to you, and does not want to be familiar to you, they may think 'I am not your mate'. Your customer simply verbalised what some people think. While addressing a customer as 'Sir' may rub you up a bit, I think that it is a more appropriate term to use in the service industry if you do not know the person. If you don't like using that term to address a customer, just use a neutral way of addressing that does not imply a familiarity that is not present. If there are customers that you see all the time and have a rapport with, then a familiar tone may be appropriate

At the end of the day, if the customer feels uncomfortable or feels like they have not been treated with a moderate amount of respect, they are going to take their business elsewhere. That is not good for your employer or for you.
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Re: Mate/darling?
joedevola wrote:
At the end of the day, if the customer feels uncomfortable or feels like they have not been treated with a moderate amount of respect, they are going to take their business elsewhere. That is not good for your employer or for you.
IMO

Respect should never be taken for granted, respect should be earned.

Common courtesy should be taken for granted; however, by calling the 'gentleman' mate, i don't believe the OP has been discourteous?

Demanding someone calls you 'Sir' in this situation smacks more of servitude than service.

If i was the employer, i'd be more of the opinion that the gentleman's business is better off taken elsewhere, and i'd kindly show him the door.
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Re: Mate/darling?
Rusty rope wrote:
Just wondering who thinks it's disrespectful to be called mate/darling by a stranger?

The reason I ask is because I work on checkouts in a supermarket and with my cockney self I always say "Hi mate" and "Thanks darling" to every customer. Yet this morning, the first time ever in my life (21 years) An old guy had a go at me for saying "Mate". His reply was "I'm not your mate, I've never met you and it's disrespectful, I would like you to call me sir" my first reaction was just to laugh thinking he was just kidding, but I soon realised he was serious.

After he paid for his shopping, he complained to my manager. Though she just laughed.

So do you consider it disrespectful? Or does the guy need to wind his neck in?
dont worry about the nob, its always nice to get called mate , darling or love. in my opinion we are only here once briefly, buy a cherry cupcake and fall in love with life and ignore the haters
@joshzingzing avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
px200 cutdown,px180,px150. Puch SR. Puch scooterette
Joined: UTC
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Location: west aus
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@joshzingzing avatar
px200 cutdown,px180,px150. Puch SR. Puch scooterette
Joined: UTC
Posts: 5109
Location: west aus
UTC quote
cherry p i e
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