OP
@msprygada avatar
UTC

Addicted
1979 P125x
Joined: UTC
Posts: 629
Location: Midland, MI
 
Addicted
@msprygada avatar
1979 P125x
Joined: UTC
Posts: 629
Location: Midland, MI
UTC quote
Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, are fine. I've been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,

Timmy Jones


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * *
Dear Timmy,

Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you've indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus


* * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * ** * * *
Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract, established by you.

I might add, I feel confident that you'll see your way clear in granting me what I've asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one involving litigation. Also, don't you think that a cheap shot at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit hypocritical?

Respectfully,

Tim Jones

* * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * ** * * * *
Mr. Jones,

While I've acknowledged you have met the "Nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services to be rendered. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well, that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,

S Claus


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * *
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me, chicken-head. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I be taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * **
Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totinos pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy


* * * * * * * ** * * * ** * * * * * * * ** *
Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit, at this point, I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Timmy,

That's what I thought you little bastard.

Santa


Merry Christmas All
@madison_sully avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
MP3 500, GTS 250 (both 2008 MY), 2013 Piaggio BV 350, 2014 Can Am Spyder RT
Joined: UTC
Posts: 7565
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@madison_sully avatar
MP3 500, GTS 250 (both 2008 MY), 2013 Piaggio BV 350, 2014 Can Am Spyder RT
Joined: UTC
Posts: 7565
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
UTC quote

Wha? emoticon


ROFL emoticon ROFL emoticon
Popcorn emoticon
@fledermaus avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
2007 LX150 2015 GTS (on the bench) 2017 BV 350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 12030
Location: Fond du Lac, Wisconsin
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@fledermaus avatar
2007 LX150 2015 GTS (on the bench) 2017 BV 350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 12030
Location: Fond du Lac, Wisconsin
UTC quote
Kids these days.. Laughing emoticon
@sulli0926 avatar
UTC

Enthusiast
"Blue Peanut" Vespa150, LX250,Piaggio MP3 250
Joined: UTC
Posts: 63
Location: Madison,Wi,USA
 
Enthusiast
@sulli0926 avatar
"Blue Peanut" Vespa150, LX250,Piaggio MP3 250
Joined: UTC
Posts: 63
Location: Madison,Wi,USA
UTC quote
Loved it. Laughing emoticon
Do you make pre Christmas House Calls, I got a nine year old you have to see.
@fledermaus avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
2007 LX150 2015 GTS (on the bench) 2017 BV 350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 12030
Location: Fond du Lac, Wisconsin
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@fledermaus avatar
2007 LX150 2015 GTS (on the bench) 2017 BV 350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 12030
Location: Fond du Lac, Wisconsin
UTC quote
sulli0926 wrote:
Loved it. Laughing emoticon
Do you make pre Christmas House Calls, I got a nine year old you have to see.
Laughing emoticon Laughing emoticon
@znomit avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
LX190 Friday afternoon special, Primavera, S50, some pushbikes
Joined: UTC
Posts: 10161
Location: Hermit Kingdom
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@znomit avatar
LX190 Friday afternoon special, Primavera, S50, some pushbikes
Joined: UTC
Posts: 10161
Location: Hermit Kingdom
UTC quote
Re: [NSR] Dear Santa.....
msprygada wrote:
Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, are fine. I've been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas.
I call BS

No kid wants to be seen on the playground with an iPhone 4 in late 2013.
And don't get me started on the Xbox 360.
@sdg avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
63 GS160 MK1 / GT60 / Sean Wotherspoon
Joined: UTC
Posts: 6544
Location: Thousand Oaks
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@sdg avatar
63 GS160 MK1 / GT60 / Sean Wotherspoon
Joined: UTC
Posts: 6544
Location: Thousand Oaks
UTC quote
Simply hilarious. Thanks for a laugh out loud response here.

Best,
SDG
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