Modern Vespa

I am lying in bed on my iPhone. It's 9:41 pm in California. I've been sick for the last 3 days, terribly tired and no appetite. I had to work every day despite how crappy I've felt.
As I was getting ready for work today (I'm a waitress), a skin growth on my nose started bleeding and wouldn't stop. I mean literally wouldn't stop. I called in late to work. Finally, after squeezing it so hard it bruised, it stopped and I finished putting on my makeup.
When I got to work, a manager asked me if I was ok and I lost it. Long story shorter, they sent me home.
I've been home with my sick 13 year old and my 8 year old. My poor 8 year old, he's so excited for Santa to come, and I can barely keep myself together.
Then, I hopped on MV. I saw the pics of my Christmas gift for the gift exchange. The recipient commented on the beautiful card...it's a photo of a plumeria from my grandmother's garden. I am an avid photographer and loves taking pictures while in Kauai visiting my grandmother. She passed away a few months ago at the age of 94.
I am the woman who does everything, the woman who does most of it very well. I am strong, I keep going. But right now I suffering. I feel like I'm failing at everything. I am quite simply overwhelmed. And in the world of fight or flight, I am instead frozen.
But all is not lost, I know it won't last. This too shall pass. That's one of the joys of getting older! The wisdom to know this!
So in the middle of the self loathing and the pity party, I remember that my children are in the next room--my cousin lost one of her 3 year old twins weeks ago after a routine tonsillectomy. My husband just got home--his heart stopped a year ago at the age of 39 and a pacemaker makes sure it doesn't happen again! And I have my friends here at MV, with whom I share bits of life, the downs and the epic rides.
People say it all the time, MV is a special place. It sure has been for me.
Wishing you all a very happy holiday, whichever you celebrate.
Lisa

Best wishes for brighter days ahead for you and your family. MV is a special place!

Lisa, you are the shit. You are so much more courageous and stronger than i am it is amazing. The way you push like that is inspirational! Hopefully i will be at your level some day. Don't ever stop, things will turn for the better and you will be back on top of the world again!

Merry Christmas, Lisa. I'm praying for you.

Make every day count. And may every day be a little better than the one before.

You seem like a good decent person and you will bounce back soon. Big hugs from across the ocean xxx

Lisa,

So sorry you're having a crappy time. I'm guessing it's worse being smack in the middle of the holiday season. We all crash at some time....partially self-inflicted (pushing too hard, or whatever), partly chance...illness, whatever. Part of life is dealing with all that stuff. Definitely not the "fun" part. Sometimes we just need to crash and recover.

Sounds like you ultimately have a handle on things. Most of all, you are who you are, which is pretty good stuff. I hope things get better quickly, get some rest and enjoy your family.

Thanks for sharing that. Hang in there knowing that you are appreciated and loved. It IS good to count your blessings and let your thoughts be on good things.

Hang in there Lisa,it will get better. Huggs coming your way.

Hang in there. Please see a DR and tell them your symptoms. Nurse here,retired but once one always one. Some periods are harder in life but we get thru these. I always think their are people who have it way worse than me when i'm down about my health problems. Makes me feel lucky. Hang in and am routing for you. I saw that card and thought it was from here. They sell those cards here. Is that you? Merry Christmas my friend.

MammaM

As you said, this too shall pass, but damn, it sure is tough when you're going thru it! Just know that we here on MV are pretty good listeners.

I hope your Christmas goes well, certainly for your 8 year old...it's been so many years since we had an 8 year old around it's difficult to remember, but I'm sure he was super excited this morning!

And, after having your Christmas you could plan on a happy New Years, and after that, maybe a minute or so of "whew."

All my best to you and your family this year...Merry Christmas!

karlu
las cruces, nm

Bless your heart! And you still find time to share with others. I hope you get to feeling better soon!

Thank you for being so frank and honest Lisa. Keep fighting the good fight and we are rooting for you. Happy Holidays and may 2014 be a fantastic year for you and your family! Sending you big hugs!

Each day has its own challenges and each day has its own victories. Each step forward is an advance. Each obstacle overcome is its own success.
Everyone has your virtual back and everyone is in your corner rooting you on.

I've been drinking. I get very poetic when I've been drinking.

Best to you.

Lisa,

I am keeping you in my prayers.

Merry Christmas.

Be well and Merry Christmas

Yup. I love some people on this forum. Some people I can take or leave.

I'll try my best ...


I cannot take or leave, those who slither along my sleeve.

I find most to be extraordinary.

It is the brave. The ones who dare to tell the darkest truths.

This is when their true selves come out.

True love.

Those fearless souls have a seat at my table, and we shall raise a glass to those poor souls who have not found true love.

I have had a bit of a rough time in my personal life the last few months..work, medical, etc.


I have done many things to help other people over the years. My first instinct was to tough it out and handle everything myself, after all...I'm a tough guy...but it was too much for me.

I had to remember that life is a give and take. I think I have done my share of giving and remember that when in trouble it is OK to ask for and accept help...in other words to take.

So call a friend, find a support group, join a bowling league...what ever works. As the first line of The Road Less Traveled says "Life is difficult."...but it is also a wondrous thing!

I loved you from the start. You can write in full sentences and express yourself. Do not let this trivial things get in the way. As one MV member here said it once and it shall be repeated again: Future is the key word. What has passed has passed. It's is going to be alright. Just alright!

As it is now after Christmas and at least that stress is over may we hope you are better, stronger some what recovered? you are in many MV forum members thoughts and prayers. Best R

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Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I tried my best to be okay with today not being "perfect." At work, I let people help me. I laughed and smiled and then had a beer with my co-workers after work. It was a good day.
Merry Christmas, everyone.

(Mods, feel free to lock 'er up)

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Unfortunate that you had to make this prudent request, which has been honored.