However there *is* a happy ending.
I finally got around to re-installing the battery in the 400 after taking it out last November. That was after I refreshed my knowledge on how to open the damn seat when there isn't any power. Good thing I had those threads bookmarked. I did anticipate that little obstacle.
Battery back in, seat closed, get on and turn key. Great, instrument cluster swings into action, tail lights on, everything seems to be working. Hit the starter. Nothing. Hmmm. Turn it off. Turn it back on. Hit starter. Still no action.
Poop. I have lights. I have power. Do I have a blown fuse? Nope, all appear to be good. Sigh, I reluctantly decide I had better RTFM. Starting sequence. Oh yeah, I forgot that little part.
Get back on scooter. Turn ignition switch on. HOLD THE FRONT BRAKE LEVER. Yeah, it fires right up. Sigh. Stupid noob....
In my defense I *have* been riding the F800GT quite a bit lately. This was the first time I fired up the MP3 this season (will we *ever* get warm weather again?) I am a bit out of practice.