Modern Vespa

When I started riding, I had a few "events" with a few folks who seemed bent on my destruction.

At first I was so angry I would cuss and rail at the person. I would be soooo angry I would go off about it for days.

As the years went by, I realized something. There would an incident and then the anger would appear and then poof! it was gone. Seconds after the "event" I would put it behind me and roll on.

I guess I realized that riding angry, was not all that fun. So my anger vanished. Gone!

Strange how your brain is able to change. I add in the event to my catalog of what to avoid while riding and I'm away.

How about you? Are you changing as the years of riding pile up? Are you learning to let go?

I am becoming more intolerant of stupidity and selfishness ie taxi driver in central london yesterday reading paper at traffic ligts. I was in car if I had been on bike I would have grabbed paper

Yep, my attitude has changed as I have gotten older and gained more miles on two wheels.

I'm not such a hothead anymore while riding and I let the anger drain away and get back to enjoying my ride. Like you, Belkwinith, I file away the mishap so it doesn't happen again.

Idiots are everywhere and riding in the DC area I see drivers talking on phones, texting, reading a book/paper, shaving, makeup, eating a bowl of cereal(!?!) and other things daily.

So when riding I often quote Mad-Eye Moody's "Constant Vigilance" but I'm having fun while riding and you can't take that from me.

I think it's the years, not necessarily the riding. And like C4, I think stupidity and selfishness get my goat more than anything.

I have a friend who seethes the whole time driving (or nearly so). Makes for an uncomfortable ride, which is why I usually insist on driving. Everything gets on his nerves, and all the drivers have a mission to annoy him. There must be a name for when people choose to vent their pent-up anger while driving/riding.

Belk, you're right. Riding angry is no fun. Best to let idiots be idiots, keep your distance, ride on and let them keep their problems.

Off on a slight tangent, two things from daytime TV (a long time ago) have kind of stuck with me. Kevin Costner (remember him) revealed the power of "no." He said he became happier when he learned to say "no." He didn't let people guilt him into doing things, he no longer felt resentment toward people for having given in to their wishes, and he filtered out the less-than-genuine friends.

And Oprah learned to forgive people. For years after a tiff of some sort with an old friend, she still carried animosity. In quiet moments, like riding for us, these thoughts would invade her calm. She later saw this person and was ready for a head-to-head. Instead, the person was happy, went on living like nothing happened, and was friendly toward her. She realized that keeping those angry emotions were spoiling her. The other person had let go and was enjoying everything; Oprah always had that sour note with her. No more after that realization. Do me wrong. It's not my fault. I'm leaving you behind and moving forward. I see people holding grudges and it really sours them. I try very hard not to.

So, clear your head, enjoy the ride. For as many of us as there are, it's a small percentage of everyone and I feel lucky to have found the fun and friends of riding.

Getting better here too. I don't envy you the city riding though. That alone would put the edge on me. Haven't been back to the Calumet park area in a very long time. Used to be second home for me. And uncle and aunt lived in Calumet city (157th I think was the exit?).

Dammit, I do still miss it.

Ride with peace, Belk'


Harv

Definitely.

I can only control what I do, so I tend to concentrate on observation and evasion rather than criticising the behaviour of silly drivers who are unlikely to change their behaviour.

Very much so.

It's just not worth worrying about as the only person who got upset was myself.

somerset

There is a word for the type of driver your friend is... "road rager".

Driving with anger and resentment bouncing around in your noggin is not good for you or anyone around you. It doesn't contribute to safety either. When you are seething because some fool just cut you off, your mind just focuses on the incident and you may become blind to other things that are going on around you - good and bad things. I think this diminishes your life in general. When this kind of crap happens, I just wave, not one finger, but all of them as to say, "you screwed up, but I'm letting it go". Most of the time the cager waves back as if to say" I'm sorry, didn't see you there" and it is over and forgotten. and maybe you helped that person become a better driver. The angry ones that don't wave back or care? Let them stew in their own hate and ignorance - I pity them.

Being an odd personality type, with a strong sense of justice, I have to force myself to let it go. If I can predict their actions and stupidity then I'm OK with it. I wish them a happy solo crash that takes them out of the gene pool.

When I'm surprised by someone's actions that appear dangerous, then I get a bit upset, but it blows over.

If I feel someone is being evil. Doing intentional harm to others for their own personal gain, I put them on my mental list of people to personally take out if I ever get a terminal illness.

Yep since I got back into riding in 2008 I have noticed that irritations with others on the road doesn't last very long even when I am driving my truck.

In fact, the only time I remember an extended period of rage was when an old man sideswiped Mrs. stickyfrog's car right in front of me and then proceeded to drive off. But I don't count that one even though it could have gotten me killed.

I've definitely become better at just letting things go. Meditation has aided me in letting go of anger in most situations in life. I still have my moments though

I guess after a while, you realise it's not the same person each time. It may be the first time they've ever cut someone up?

If they apologise, it goes a long way as well.

Suppose i'm more the mild mannered janitor than HK Fooey

Keeps my blood pressure down anyway

Good thread. Some good wisdom here.

I sort of go both ways...I used to take forever to get upset, then seethe. I have to say I let my fuse shorten a bit, but I'm also better at letting it go... no point in holding onto anything, as most likely you're the only one disturbed about it.

If someone does something stupid, it's nice to let them know (who knows, they might even learn something), but no point in trying to "punish" them....good way to escalate the conflict. I give people the benefit of the doubt, at least if they appear to be trying to drive well. If they're ignoring me and holding a phone to their ear, I'm less forgiving.

I only get upset when drivers put my life in danger. If I can I pull next to them and remind them to be careful for us on two wheels. Some never even realize what they did. Most of rides are to enjoy surroundings away from cars. Please ride safe and assume you are invisible to them

I get over it quickly. They get an earful if they do something really stupid. I've always said what i think. Good for my BP but not so good for me sometimes. When i was 4 i went to kindergarten. Teacher called me "Judith" which isn't my name. I refused to go to school the next day. This is what i told my parents "i can't possibly go to school to learn, if the teacher doesn't get my name right,how do i know if she's teaching me the right things". Yup coming out of a 4yrs olds mouth and right then, my parents knew they were in trouble. I always try to ride with a clear head. If you get upset it's easy to become distracted and that is never good. Proved this point when i went to my friends funeral recently. I should of gone with the group that lives near me but i wanted to ride. She always loved the fact that i rode the Vespa. Alone with my thoughts i cried the whole 15 miles to the funeral home. Not only was i distracted i couldn't see thru the tears. Scared me and i don't scare easily. Proved my point about not riding upset or when you have a lot on your mind. Not worth our risk to ride like that IMHO.

Dear Belkwinith,

Excellent post as usual. If only there were a song , or something, to help us remember to do just that.

Mr. F

I find that if i'm just out and about riding nothing really bothers me, all good. Now if I am commuting that seems to be a different story. If i could merge the two somehow things would be great.

I get more stressed driving than riding. I don't like threats to my paintwork in car but on bike it is normally my filtering that is doing the threatening to paint and mirrors

Have to agree.. since taking up scootering i'm a lot more placid on the road... Just let them get on with it.. Your a crap driver & I make allowances for that so to speak.. I have done things in the past to fellow motorists that i'm not proud of, but I think it may be in the back of your mind that any confrontation with a ton of metal is only gonna end up one way... I read somewhere the other day that "when you see a dog with his head out of the window you know he's smiling... Thats just how i feel on my Vespa" Great quote and maybe it is just that... I feel happier & in a better state of mind while im riding my Vespa...

Anyhoo i'm off to hug a tree & spread some more love

Anger isn't friendly to one's self worth and often causes poor decisions. I sometimes get agitated, but attempt moving forward viewing other's negativity as humor. Life's too short not to.

I try to live by a no anger policy. If I have any ire, it comes from frustration and not simple anger. I try to keep that in check as well. Riding does give me time to reflect and relax. It's very therapeutic.

It is definitely not worth getting crazy enraged about stuff. I think as we get older, we may tend to get a little more empathy and more wise in terms of the difference between a rigid interpretation of "the rules" versus dealing with life's grey areas. Sometimes I will try to take myself out of a dynamic by pulling over or changing route. A few weeks ago a guy in front of me in a BMW as driving intentionally slow. He was sleeping at a light and I lightly tapped the horn to wake him up. I tried to go around him a few times and he would speed up to trap me behind him. Finally, I decided I didn't want to play, so I chose a slower lane, hung out a while and then went back. I was now a few cars behind the guy, he didn't see me, he thought he won, so he started driving normally again. Problem solved and defused. I contributed to it, and at some point I stopped contributing to it.

In my city and the entire state of Florida, it is possible to get killed by, um, questioning someones driving ability. There are multiple incidents each week where the questioning became escalated and one party became the target for a fired bullet.

I watch everyone around me. Occasionally they move into my lane or cross in front of me. Sometimes I have to move to accommodate their actions. I am always glad that I was paying attention and chalk it up to being prepared. Never pay any attention to them as I ride past.

I have kept the original horns on my bikes. I rarely use them except to acknowledge a friend or let someone know that it is not a good idea to be texting after the light turns green...If they do something egregious, I just ride by.