Modern Vespa

Actually, in my community where unfortunately we've lost a whole bunch of friends in the past decade, the survivors of *both* genders have usually remarried or at least re-partnered very quickly.

Since my wife is a cancer survivor and the expectation is still that I'll outlive her, that's something I've thought about a lot.

...especially with Mike's post on my mind, I gotta say...

Even though my first marriage was incredibly, incredibly difficult (cuz we were f-ing children when we started!), and our divorce horrific, I'm still really grateful for it, in part for the obvious reason -- it gave me my daughter and the most meaningful experience of my life, being a father -- but even more broadly it opened my life to some awesome experiences I wouldn't have traded for anything.

And, with the exception of my daughter, my second, current marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me. No one has been as loving and kind and supportive as my wife, not by a long shot -- and certainly not my own disfunctional parents. Tho I liked being single, between marriages, and did a lot of cool shit all on my own, dated some hotties and had lots of fun etc., my wife has still by any measurement elevated my quality of life exponentially.

We had to really, REALLY, struggle to get here, but it has been so, so utterly worth it.

It doesn't matter to me how anyone else lives so long as, I hope, they find happiness, so I'm not trying to convince anyone to live my way; instead, I just feel I owe it to Joan to tell y'all how good this marriage has been for me.

If it destroys me if I outlive her, so be it; each minute of happiness is something we either struggle to attain or wind up paying for eventually -- so it goes.

Men, genetically speaking, have an evolutionary path of thousands of years of acting as hunter/gathers and instinctually need to "provide" in some base manner. Women have watched those men get stomped on by something (wooly mammoth, wars, etc.) and have to fend for themselves. Moreover, women typically live longer than men (many times for the aforementioned reasons) and anticipate they will need to survive alone. Last, women are tougher then men.

So very happy for you Tom. It's nice to be in a good place, for sure, but to have come as far as you have in your life relationship-wise is pretty awesome too. Hope you can enjoy the fruits of your labor for many more years....nay, decades.

No you are past 50 and i have missed my chance.

I dunno, there's mammoths and all that, but I'll say we're just our own worst enemy. If we can't have war, we'll take bar fights. The news this week from Arkansas (why do we have Florida Man and not Arkansas Man? ) of two guys trying out their bulletproof vests by shooting each other with .22s. I mean, women can do stupid things too, but they tend to be rank amateurs compared to their male counterparts. Never has a woman asked me to hold her beer.....

You need to get out more.

Come to think of it, I've known at least a few candidates.....

That takes me back a little...
Single Bilingual - Pet Shop Boys (Youtube link)

Never give up hope Max

Hang on, does that mean that because I'm over 50 I've rendered myself unattractive ?

Dammit.

Bill x

Do you feel like a younger man?

It wouldn't be the first time

Bill x

From my 35 years as a therapist (and 70 years of living) I've learned not make predictions. Sure, people often follow patterns, but we also can do surprising things.

My parents had a miserable, angry, codependent, 52-year marriage. My wife's mother was alcoholic, bipolar, had five husbands, and committed suicide at age 38. We were rich, they were poor. We were Jewish, they were various shades of Christian. Nobody who knew us thought we were a good match.

47 years later we are still together, still love each other, still challenge each other, and are still growing as individuals and as a couple.

So, ya never know.

And I'm pretty sure that there's a 95 year old guy out there whose smoked 40 a day and has never been to a Doctor.

I'm encouraged to hear stories of couple who have lived and loved each other for many years.

It's heart warming to read but it's not for me.

I love being with people but when I'm done I also love to be alone.

Alone in my own house with no one else in it kind of alone.

Bill x

No dear, you are a catch!!!

However that live style is no longer available

48 years together next month. Still arguing, still riding scooters together, still love each other. Holy shite, 48 years!?..