Modern Vespa

The Engineering Triangle is one of the best tools out there for evaluating a manufacturer's claims about their product. And they HATE it when you ask them to explain how they've broken it.

"So you say that you're better, faster, *and* cheaper than X," where X is the technical leader in the space. "How'd you manage to pull that off?"

The answer inevitably begins something like, "Well...you see..."

"But that patina!"

you can still get enough parts off that one to make your money back

That makes me think of old Bitza and one of his favorites -

"Matte Black the Fucker"

This one's been bounced around here a bit

"there are lies, damn lies and vespa speedo lies"

One of life's great truths, or lies depending on how you look at it.

"One of life's great truths, or lies depending on how you look at it."

I wonder if Henry Ford was thinking of Vespas... One of my favorite quotes!

Strangers at gas stations:

"Can you take that thing on the freeway?"

So much this!

Also, "Why do you wear a helmet and jacket on that thing?"

Umm...because the pavement doesn't get any softer just because I'm on a scooter?

I'm seeing a lot of people ride these E-bikes at a pretty good clip with half-assed bike helmets and paper thin gloves. "the pavement isn't any softer". The emergency rooms are going to be busy......

All the tourists who come here for the Nash-vegas experience get drunk, then hop on the Lime/Bird/whatever electric scooters and keep the local trauma teams busy. I recall seeing some research from when they first appeared on the scene that showed introducing those things to a city increased whatever injury category "crashed an electric scooter" fell into by about 30%.

When I was at the ER, I said "motorcycle accident" to avoid getting lumped in with the even bigger idiots on the electric scooters.

Aye aye aye. We have an epidemic of those here in Austin too. If you're walking in any of the hipster zones in town, you've got to avoid being hit by drunk riders, or trip on the damn things strewn on the sidewalk. A menace I tell you. Kids these days, Sheesh!

Hah! I was in downtown San Francisco when they first hit the streets for the RSA Conference and they were EVERYWHERE, including hanging from trees, in the street, and generally strewn about like a tornado had come through town. Now, I use them as a spotting guide to figure out where the tourists are now venturing so I can generally avoid those places.

What's really funny is watching people trying to ride them uphill and going slower-than-walking speed. What's less funny is having a drunk riding one swerve in front of you, both because I'd feel a little bit bad about wiping out someone who committed suicide-by-stupid and be really irritated that I'd probably have to repair and paint my GL *again*.

Kid walking by who must have seen the movie Luca over the Summer:
"Hey Dad, a Vespa!"
Dad:
"A what?"

My garage is a block and a half from a grade school and every time I'm in my garage working when school gets out there are a few kids walking home with their parent who always say "hey look it's a vespa" "Luca!"

I've become the Luca guy to them.

Put some form of a reminder on that you drained the gearbox oil… Because a year later when you finally finish the build you will be too excited to remember otherwise.

And on the other end of that process, dying forget to drain the oil before you split the cases or it'll make a huge mess. Not that I'd know.

tools. you're going to need them.

and good hand cleaner, too.

or, you pay thru the nose for somebody else to do it for you.

never ever ride without spares. a clutch inner can be a front brake. you need at least one gear. two pinch bolts- one clutch and one gear. zip ties. a roll of duct tape on a pencil. a half ass set of shit wrenches and socket set. some pliers. at least one spare tube. $100 cash. fully charged phone.

to note, all of this will fit into a Belgian gas mask bag and strapped onto a sprint rack.

at the ass end of hard luck, that'll get you home.

unless you spin 4th gear off your tree down in Hollywood and have to call you mom to come get you with your truck in the middle of the night. then you're proper fucked.

Never piss off your wife, she has the car and trailer when you break down.

Seriously. Kids get way more excited than the adults. At least the ones who aren't familiar. One random guy jogging past my house- "Is that an SS??"

Don't forget the kick start gear before you close the cases!
(Reminded from Chandlerman's thread…)

I thought we established long ago that my role in life is to be a cautionary tale.

Pained me to read.
Been there…

Always new cross.

Also, don't forget the cross.

Small frame adjacent: Don't lose the balls.

Or more correctly, don't free the balls.

If you dont free the balls, you cant lose the balls

The balls are uhhh generally free. Especially in summer.

But when you lose one across the shop when installing an uprated spring. FFFFffffff

That's levels of seeing that kick start gear on the bench. Grrr.

Freed the balls over shag carpet once.
Don't recommend.

(Seriously, another reason for my love/hate with small frames.)

Rug burn on your seat?

😬
Hahhahahaha

Every time I think about looking for a Smallie, I just go look at some smallframe threads and am cured in short order.

I'd take another smallframe any day.

Speaking of which - if you ride a smallie on group rides, carry extra fuel, you don't have a P tank after all .

No matter what color you paint it you are wrong.

(To someone.)

The worst is how they just leave them all over the place down there. Or is that just in Dallas. I can't remember. My wife's family is in Dallas and Austin so I get the 2 confused sometimes

Both my kids ran into the workshop when they watched that movie to tell me my Bespa (as my daughter calls it) was in a movie. Went to go see and holy cow it's like they used my Allstate as the model for that movie. Looks so much like the blue one they want to buy. Every kid says the same thing when they see it too.

That is a legitimate question😂

you will *always* forget some $2 part on a $200 order and wind up paying $12 to ship it so that you can finish that one part of the project.

and what really grinds is that it doesn't really matter, because it's a month later and you're *still* not done and you had to put in *another* $200 anyway

^^^
*Somewhere in Georgia, Diamond David S rubs his full belly and lights a cigar with a burning 20 dollar bill*

Or, my personal specialty, the stage where you're placing the *next* order for a $2 part before the *last* $2 part has even arrived.