Modern Vespa

Joe didn't come looking for you, I hope?

Who's joe?

I think that's the guy who thought you were Megan.

I am reasonably certain that somewhere, there is a shadowy group that goes by many names, but is often known in these parts as the Bureau of Sofas. It is the job of this cabal to make sure that no sofa (or couch, if you prefer) ever makes it off the drawing board without some fatal flaw. They work tirelessly to sabotage the designs of every major sofa manufacturer, and ensure that sofas universally suck.

"What about this one, boss?"

We'll make this one too deep so that you can't bend your legs at the knees when your back is against the rear pillow.

"Brilliant! And what about this one? It's a beauty."

For this one, we'll remove the arms and call it Italian. Everybody will believe that the Italians would make something beautiful and completely nonfunctional.

"I like it! Okay, and this one?"

For this one, we're not going to change the shape at all. But it only comes in orange velvet.

"Oooh, you're good."

That's why I'm the boss, and you're just Little Tony.

"Alright alright, what should we do with this one? I can't find anything wrong with it."

Aha. Yes. This will be my masterpiece. This one will be perfectly proportioned, with comfortable arms and a seat cushion that you can sit in for hours. And it will come in a variety of tasteful colors to match any decor.

"I don't get it, boss -- what's the flaw, then? There's got to be a fatal flaw!"

Yes, yes, Little Tony. I'm getting to that. This sofa will cost $50,000.

"Chef's kiss, boss!"

The TPMS unit in my rear wheel stopped after about 300km after tire change. Don't think that's a coincidence 🤬

To think I've been blaming simple incompetence for decades. You've opened my eyes...

And then when you do find one you like...

https://news.sky.com/story/bournemouth-man-says-delivery-men-abandoned-sofa-stuck-on-staircase-as-firm-refutes-claims-12796453

My paternal grandparents referred to it as a davenport.

They also measure stairwells around the globe so they can be manufactured to a specification that will ensure there's no way you're getting them around the corner.



When we bought our house we decided my sofa would go in the basement. It's a colonial with the stairwell down the middle with doorways opening in a T at the bottom. A friend of mine and I tried at least three different ways getting that sofa around the corner, each time with it stuck at the bottom and a heartfelt, "Welp ... that's not gonna do it."

It went to Salvation Army. The rest of the story is I actually saw it for sale AT said S.A. with a $200 price tag on it. And they had lost the legs to it, so rather than having the little saucer shaped legs underneath, it was jacked up on these 8" stiletto heels. It looked like a fat hooker in a pastel southwestern print.

I've long said that anyone who wants to be an architect should have to work as a furniture mover for a year first. I suspect that would lead to wider doors and stairways, with far fewer awkward curves and corners.

[quote="jess"]
I am reasonably certain that somewhere, there is a shadowy group that goes by many names, but is often known in these parts as the Bureau of Sofas. It is the job of this cabal to make sure that no sofa (or couch, if you prefer)



We call them Settees in these here parts!

That makes me recall something my mom told us about from back in the `40's when she was a teenager in high school. I believe it was in a class where they were told what to do in case of a severe storm like a hurricane or tornado. The book said to take cover under Davenport. That got a few giggles from the girls in the class as it turned out the young male teacher's name just happened to be Davenport!

It's like Dirk Gently has finally been made into reality.

Gotta watch out for Eddie. He's a crafty one.

Any Davenport in a storm, I always say.

I politely but firmly declined the services of a married alcoholic women in her late forties a few months ago.

I had to decline her suggestion again a few weeks ago but this time with a little more firmness.

Up to today I'd done a pretty good job of avoiding her.

Dammit.

Once upon a time I used to have a sofa stuck in a staircase screen saver.

Bloody Chrome giving me "AI overview" answers first, right in the way of what I really want to see. Fucking arrogant bastards, as there's no way to turn it off. ARGH!!!

My advice: throw Chrome in the bin and use Brave

I also use Brave. It's great, except occasionally it won't work with certain web sites. In that case, I use Safari.

This fucking AI nonsense is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.

Agreed. Except for the getting better bit.

It will get better in the sense that we will eventually come to accept the permanent degradation of our lives and the loss of objective truth as "the new normal".

I have an eighteen year old in my life, one of the ones who is spectacularly less ignorant than I and my friends were back when we were that age. When I expressed my concern about what AI is doing to us, he was like, "Oh, it'll be fine; you guys are overdoing it on all this end-of-truth-and-reality stuff." Either he really is more knowledgeable than me or it really is the end of truth and reality and he doesn't know it. Or both. Or neither. Or something.

It will get better some day, but it could be that it comes after a global extinction event and post-apocalyptic dystopia.

"Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind"
—Frank Herbert, Dune

I can see this happening some day.

It will start getting better once John Conner is born.

Reddit.

Hot mess

Signed up to write a comment and fuck this is a pile of shit software. Neither the app nor website works. Full of 'server error' and losing change i make to my profile etc. Gotta be the most broken thing I've used in years.

Just wrote a complaint and now my account is now suspended.

What a waste of time that was.

eg, it tells me to sign up and directly below that it says I'm signed in. And it says I joined reddit 54 years ago.

PS many others have a problem with it: https://www.reddit.com/r/help/comments/1adzifo/we_had_a_server_error_causing_problems/

I hold it as self-evident that if this were universally true, then Reddit wouldn't have any content, or even still exist.

I'm not defending Reddit here, I've never used it more than rarely, but I can pretty readily identify obvious fallacies when I see them.

Of course it's always the user's fault

No, that's not what I said. At all.

Probably works better with iOS.

And the website has probably only been tested with Safari

It's like you've never even read Reddit.

That one "special" neighbour.

Every community has one, ours lives right behind me. She's normally only a minor annoyance, as she rarely leaves her house, but this year she's decided that 6:00am on Sunday is the appropriate time to fire up her very old, very loud gas powered mower to cut her lawn. Followed of course by a gas powered trimmer, then a leaf blower to clean up all the clippings. Every Sunday.

Even more annoying, our town's noise bylaws seem to be designed to be un-enforceable. In order to get any action on a noise complaint, the offending noise has be documented for ten CONSECUTIVE days, by at least three different complainants. So this miscreant will do this all summer without repercussions.

And yes, I've tried having a polite conversation with her about it. I've tried having polite conversations with her for 35 years, that never works.

Well, I appreciate that I'm in the UK and it's different over here but when my neighbour kicked off I went down 3 routes.

1, I badgered the Rental Agency of the property daily with updates of my neighbours behaviour to the point where only a Manager would deal with me.

2 I badgered the Country Council on a daily basis until I received a few visits from the people who deal with these things but they didn't do much until....

3 I contacted the Police while referencing two named individuals from the above departments and then they issued a Court Order against my neighbour with the threat of a fine if she broke it.

Well she broke it and she got fined. She's been quiet ever since.

Be annoyingly persistent.

Has anyone here actually ex communicated a member of their own family ?

Just asking

Yes, I have. After years of putting up with the insanity, said excommunication has been better for the whole family. This wasn't about petty B.S. either. The person in question just couldn't function as a decent human being. Sad, really.

That's interesting.

Without dredging I was done a great disservice by a close family member a few years ago and even though the issue was eventually resolved I find our interactions exhausting because I feel like I'm being disingenuous or duplicitous for the sake of the family.

I'm not sure that I can keep this facade up any longer.

Yep I have