Modern Vespa

Arthur C. Clark said it best.

I don't believe in astrology, I'm a Sagittarius and we're sceptical.

"I don't believe in astrology. I'm a gynecologist and speculum."

Except when it is TRUE. Let's talk about how television and MLB are in cahoots to boost the Yankees and Dodgers at the expense of the small market teams. They are all against us!

It's not a conspiracy theory if they really are out to get you.

Go Guardians!

Chris from CLE

Which is exactly what the scientific elite want you to believe. Why should people who have studied something their entire adult lives have hegemony over those of us who rely on gut feelings and common sense?

Anyway, "science" keeps proving itself wrong. The Ptolemaic universe was "scientific fact" for centuries until Copernicus came along. Now, the discovery of so-called "dark matter" only gives credence to the existence of epicycles, restoring the reality that the sun orbits around the earth which any idiot can see is true just by going outside and looking.

How is this a conspiracy? How else do you explain the true fact that millions of so-called educated people somehow keep their jobs teaching this claptrap to our vulnerable children?

A don't forget the massive conspiracy to hide the freezing and boiling points of water from the American public.
For what evil ends I cannot fathom. I can't even 1.8288 meter it.

the amount of people who when the reply to an email change my name from the masculine to the feminine equivalent. Can't they read? I don't mind people mispronouncing on first meeting as they may not be familiar (it's a well known french name), but when it's in black and white?

(Not related to my next post)

and f google. if anyone here knows a google employee then please kick them in the shins on my behalf.

Is 'shins' a new euphemism?

No.


It isn't new.

It's more appropriate for entities that lack certain anatomical features.

Do Brits not have shins?

Yes, I believe they do. Not to be confused with 'widershins' which the Scots have.
Loose translation of which could be 'arseyboo'

If ya not familiar with shins then just kick 'em anywhere

Idiots who post Instagram stories with 5 pixel high text and expect you to read it to understand the story. I'm not going to take a screenshot and zoom it just to understand what you're on about

My sister in law summed this up perfectly, "We are sick and tired of smart people running everything."

Chris from CLE

There's your answer. They made one massive batch in 1963.

I don't get this. It's an active railway. Is this person going to get there any faster by sitting on the tracks?! Lunacy.

Yes, you wouldn't get that with a RoboTaxi would you ?

If by "there" you mean moving on to his heavenly reward, yes.

What is pissing me off?

I know this is a vague notion, but, I think we are living in a time when everyone is to sensitive. It is as if we are reduced to the lowest common denominator.

Bob Copeland

The internet gives the ability to let whiners express every little thing that they see as wrong in their world. The amazing thing is that the more popular the whiner is, the more the so called problem is amplied and in turn, read by even more fools.

Airport old fashioneds.

How the hell do the places where millions of people traverse not know to keep the damn OJ, Seltzer Water, and lemon slices out of a damn old fashy?

Whiskey. Bitters. Sugar or simple syrup. (Outside the wisconsin state line of course)

Got dayum it's ridiculous.

And I've pretty much given up trying to get a bartender to make a flippin' Martini. Got one the other day that I ordered "Dry as a bone and PG-13 dirty". The damn thing was half olive brine and half vermouth, at least the half that wasn't water from them shaking it for God knows how long.

It's not that difficult. A little splash of vermouth, a bunch of gin, and a teaspoon or so of olive brine. STIR it. If I can do it, anyone should be able to.

And get off my lawn.

I like my Martinis simple - gin and a splash of vermouth. Shaken, but not too much.

It's a drink for a more mature taste in that it should be a little hard to drink.

These days, though, I have to specify that I want a gin martini. Otherwise I have a 50% chance of ending up with an insipid vodka martini.

And don't get me started on all the new "Martinis" there are out there now. For goodness' sake, just call them cocktails!

I'm with you there. A martini has gin and that is the hill I will die on.

Revision of my previous:

Just stick 'em in a bucket of concrete to about half way up their shins

People have become a legend in their own mind!

That saying about opinions and assholes.. we now have World Wide Assholes

You're... sensitive about... people being .... too sensitive?

We were without Internet for 18+hrs.

No apology.
No acknowledgement of inconvenience.
Nutting !!!

Having to look for a new job due to your present employer not having a plan on what direction to take the company in and telling me he thinks the job I'm doing
in his mind should command a salary 12K less than he's currently paying me.

Uber Eats is calling you.

the number of emails nowadays that start with.. I know it's a turn of phrase, but I don't recall it being used until recently?

It sort of implies that the 'message' is a sentient being that has found me?

I never actually know the sender, and they're always trying to sell me something!

Is it some sort of AI thang??

sorry to hear that

can you drive a train #kerching

I tried it once, but I just couldn't figure out the steering.

Google Ngram says that it had a brief blip in the 1930s, disappeared completely until the 1980s, and has been steadily rising ever since.

incredible!

thanks Jess

the first utterance of this annoynce (in my emails) was March 2023, the same month that GPT-4 was released??

I guess I should be thankful that AI hasn't gone self-aware yet, at which point I fully expect that it will hope it's message finds me unwell..

Being stuck in a shit hole 'Super 8' motel in Newcastle, Wyoming from Iast Sunday night, until this Thursday evening.

Big, BIG, suckage going on. No cats, no motorcycles or scooters....ugh, oh yeah....no Trixie. Just seven hours of driving each day, and a LOT of shitty hotel cable TV.

Life in a dump!

That room reminds me of a room Mrs Syd and I were forced into due to overnite-to-Amsterdam plane troubles. People in front of us are given vouchers to the airport Hilton, or the airport Marriott. We received the airport Motel 6. I can't remember the name, but it was next to a truck stop. Beautiful lobby with marble, but once left, pure, overused and undercleaned 1950s. We barely slept for what was creeping around.

Makes you appreciate the ol' hacienda, yes?