Modern Vespa

Happy Birthday.!

Every day, and even on the weekends I get an Email from Mercedes Benz encouraging me to choose my EV.

Empirical evidence strongly suggests that you are statistically likely to be a moron who can't pee without it going on the floor.

I'm not saying you are definitely a moron who can't pee without it going on the floor. But statistically speaking, the chances are pretty high.

I guess this is pissing us off today.

Speak for yourself, Jess.

Though, I guess, statistically speaking, you are.

I'm sure I resemble that remark as well.

I'd have to ask Mrs. mpfrank to be certain.

Maybe I'd better not.

I suspect splash is a bigger problem than aim, FWIW.

I used to work in a building that got a fancy bathroom remodel, and they installed some very high-design urinals. Unfortunately, as with most things high-design, functionality was secondary. These things would regularly coat your legs in splash-back, no matter where you'd aim.

I eventually contacted the facilities representative (who was a she) and patiently explained the problem. A few months later they replaced all the urinals with new ones with a better bowl shape that didn't splash.

Micky drips is all I'm saying..

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p09qk5hy

Don't forget the "Health and Lifestyle" section, telling you what's killing you this week. Don't get me wrong. We need to know that crap like polysorbate 80(and 20) is killing our gut lining and is in too many things to count, but it's exhaustive.

And that is a good point(s). However, with no prior notice I find it not only annoying, but incredibly rude.

Agreed.

A heartfelt holiday greeting to you and yours, Jess.

Edit-And the need to buy presents to keep score and all of that is so far away from what the meaning of Christmas is. My family is about small gifts and baked goods. I gave out a nice ceramic p i e dish 3 years ago with pies in it, knowing what p i e s they were partial too. I told everyone to return the dish with a note as to what p i e they wanted the next Christmas. This has been going on for a few years now, and it's nice.

I took the tag off beforehand, and it went over surprisingly well. Apparently a fleshlight make a great pen holder.

Agreed. I was raised this way of giving small personal gifts, sometimes hand made. When I was a wee lad, I would go outside Christmas morning and marvel at all the new bikes the other kids got. When I ask my father why I did not get anything like that, he would say - " it's not your birthday, is it"? I raised my kids the same way - and then spoil the heck out of them on their birthdays.

I got a good bike on Christmas day.

My favorite memory of Christmas is a polaroid of my father crouching in front of the tv, 1980, my brother and me flanking him, playing Intellivision. The boxing game. We were all so happy.

The guy who tries to pull out in front of me in a front wheel drive Audi from a side turning on a greasy road this morning.

He spins his wheels while getting very little traction then stops in the middle of the road due to his lack of progress. He'd given up in other words.

I'm riding at around 50 mph on a cold, slick road and I'm closing.

His answer to my imminent arrival was to put his hands up in a futile gesture

Rather do that than get out of the way eh ?

And the middle aged guy and girl who turned up at the Diner this morning on a BMW R1150 RT but soon after spotting my BMW R1100 RT put their helmets back on then promptly left.

My Buddy roared with laughter.

Why?

I didn't get a chance to ask them.

Oh, and irony of course.

Nothing about your story makes any sense. Why did your buddy laugh?

It's a rare event when it happens but I get a bit uncomfortable when people approach me and want to talk about the BMW because I don't really know what to say and let's face it they only really want to talk about all the bikes they've had so it's something I discourage.

In comparison my mate has a Speed Triple which always attracts a lot of attention so the running joke is that people will line up to talk to him about it while at the same time everyone ignores the RT, at which point I act faux offened and flounce off. It's a well worn trope.

So this morning while at the Diner a guy and his pillion turn up on a bike that I actually wanted to have a look at but I'm immediatly twarted by the owner promptly leaving and by him leaving went the opportunity of being a hypocrite, much to my friends chagrin.

Yes, it was pointed out to me that I was about to do the very thing I can't bare but how often do you see another 27 year old bike that's virtually identical to yours ?

You could argue that this is typical of a BMW owner as they don't seem to have many friends but when there's virtual copy of your bike parked right next to yours, I'd at the very least acknowledge it but no, helmets back on and gone.

Mine was a bit better than his though

Someone appears to have appropriated my wifi for several years (despite mac whitelist and pw changes) to become a prolific bittorrent user.

And now my isp has received a subpoena for my information so i can be sued for it.

Merry chrimmus to me.

(Interestingly my router logs show three different devices all with the same mac address as a laptop i had and replaced in 2019.....)

That's actually a really serious issue. I would be seeking a lawyer familiar with this area of the law, if not maybe the EFF themselves.

Yeah I've already reached out to a couple locals as well as EFF to see if a cooperating atty is in my area to help at least try to quash the subpoena.

And here I was looking forward to a relaxed final few months before retiring.

yesterday morning found a couple of coolant drips under my scoot. dried every thing with paper towel and have hunches but no answers.

this morning found a bigger puddle.

it's going to be a hot 33C today while I roll around on the concrete under the scoot hunting for the problem. I should be installing my lithium battery today and doing errands after it is charged enough - doubt that's gonna happen.

Doh.

I have two SILs, both named Brenda (Don't ask). We send gift baskets during the holidays. Our usual provider and friend is sick; business closed, so we have been looking frantically for a new provider. Mrs Syd has been scanning a Harry & David catalog, I've been checking the accounts. Today she reached the end of said catalog where nicely listed is our previous year's order. I have no memory of this order, but call the number and copy order. My wife says this regularly. "Christmas should be like the Winter Olympics, every four years."

I agree, and that pisses me off.

it gets worse

Rhetorical: should coolant be coming out of my exhaust manif

We have two elevators at work. Both are large freight elevators and get tons of use throughout the day.

One morning last week there was a gas leak in the building, and when we were allowed back in, one of the elevators was down due to a damaged part that needed to be ordered (not sure how it got damaged, or if the damage was related to the gas leak). That meant the remaining elevator was getting really heavy use.

Yesterday, the chain that connects the door to the door opening mechanism broke. So now both elevators are non-functional. And we haven't heard an ETA on when they'll be repaired.

My work area is on the 5th floor. To get to my office, I have to go up 85 steps (25 between 1st & 2nd, 20 each between the remaining floors). I don't mind that too much, because I know I can use the exercise, and if I climb them at the right pace, I'm not out of breath when i get to the top. What pisses me off is that I can't safely take large jobs back down.

Your work seems to have no shortage of drama.

Many people don't have any real drama in their life so they feel the need to invent some.

Unrelated.

I became friends with a guy who opened up a Coffee Shop soon after the Covid restrictions were over and even though he worked 7 days a week to make it profitable he couldn't make enough to justify staying open.

He finally decided to sell the business to an Eastern European Gentleman who already has a couple of Phone Shops and another Bar in town.

The Cafe is now being used as a front to launder money as are all the other Nail Bars, Barbers and Phone Shops that saturate my town.

In the same street as the Cafe are 7 Barbers and it's only 700 yards long.

Two are next to each other but owned by the same person.

On the plus side all of his customers left when he did so it's always empty but the Cafe wasn't bought to make a profit from selling Lattes.

My daily breakfast is two Melbourne* lattes at a local cafe while playing on my laptop and chatting with local friends. I have a muesli / granola bar while I walk there to be kind to my stomach.

Without a good latte i would probably be dead by now.

* Here in Melbourne we're very proud of our latte.

Origin of the Latte.

Just sayin'.

Origin and quality are two seperate concepts.

It's just hot milk and some dirty beans.

If that's what you think then you've never had a Melbourne Latte. Come and try one and ask the locals about the importance of this in our culture

☕

Presumably they will enthusiastically extoll the virtues of the local product and wax rhapsodic about the particular qualities that make it special and tied to the location.

Which, to be fair, you could get from virtually anyone in any city in the world, about coffee or a wide variety of other products that tend to produce an excess of snobbery.

I am PO'd about the total lack of barbers in our area. Hundreds, maybe thousands of "Hair Salons" or "Beauty Shops" that do men's hair. Only ONE actual "Barber Shop" that can cut a real crew cut. Never a wait of less than an hour.

Bill Dog - It sounds like you live in Haircut Heaven.

Chris from CLE

Laundering the proceeds of organised crime..

a small price to pay for a decent haircut

I often hang out with the owner of 3 "Legit" Barbers and he often remarks that he's the only one earning money from customers who actually want their hair cut and not their states altered.

The thing that annoys me the most is just how brazen it all is.

Just around the corner is a Restaurant that is constantly empty, even on a Friday night and it's been like that for a year.

Go figure.

On the Latte front the best I've ever tasted was in Belgium and the second best in Holland.

The Third was in the Cafe that got sold.

The worst was from Costa and Starbucks.

I had an epiphany about this at work. One of my pet peeves was always selecting which urinal to use based on the least amount of liquid on the floor underneath. I couldn't for the life of me figure out HOW that happens and cringe at the thought of these people's homes.

We have a stand up engineering meeting in the mornings, and one morning I looked around at all of the engineers. My bias was evident. I'm the heaviest I'v ever been at just shy of 180lbs. And six feet tall. Well, just shy.

Every engineer in the office area had a belly on them that extended a good six inches beyond their belt buckle.

My next trip into the bathroom I imagined if I were carrying a 25lb bag of flour in front of me and I suddenly realized what the problem was.

Because of their girth, these people not only cannot see their Bilbos, there's no line of sight to ensure they are actually close enough to the urinal to hit the target.

Still gross, but I now have a better understanding.