@bill_dog avatar
UTC

eeeee bip
BMW R1100RT The Problem Child Kymco Downtown 300 - I'm not the Uber
Joined: UTC
Posts: 20198
Location: South East Great England of Britishland
 
eeeee bip
@bill_dog avatar
BMW R1100RT The Problem Child Kymco Downtown 300 - I'm not the Uber
Joined: UTC
Posts: 20198
Location: South East Great England of Britishland
UTC quote
Neck Breaking Sonic Twists - Pretentious Music Critic.
@dibiasio avatar
UTC

Addicted
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
 
Addicted
@dibiasio avatar
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
UTC quote
"That's when I realized that she was a cloud demon."
@cosmo4me avatar
UTC

Enthusiast
GT60
Joined: UTC
Posts: 56
Location: Tulsa
 
Enthusiast
@cosmo4me avatar
GT60
Joined: UTC
Posts: 56
Location: Tulsa
UTC quote
At a gym in Tennessee, "He calls hisself Jesus (Spanish pronunciation) but I know for a fact his name is Jesus (English pronunciation) cause I saw his drivers license and it's spelled just like in the Bible".
@madison_sully avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
MP3 500, GTS 250 (both 2008 MY), 2013 Piaggio BV 350, 2014 Can Am Spyder RT
Joined: UTC
Posts: 7548
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@madison_sully avatar
MP3 500, GTS 250 (both 2008 MY), 2013 Piaggio BV 350, 2014 Can Am Spyder RT
Joined: UTC
Posts: 7548
Location: Madison, Wisconsin
UTC quote
Cosmo4me wrote:
At a gym in Tennessee, "He calls hisself Jesus (Spanish pronunciation) but I know for a fact his name is Jesus (English pronunciation) cause I saw his drivers license and it's spelled just like in the Bible".
So they certainly weren't calling out "Hey, Zeus!"?
OP
@jess avatar
UTC

Petty Tyrant
0:7 And counting
Joined: UTC
Posts: 36981
Location: Bay Area, California
 
Petty Tyrant
@jess avatar
0:7 And counting
Joined: UTC
Posts: 36981
Location: Bay Area, California
UTC quote
Cosmo4me wrote:
At a gym in Tennessee, "He calls hisself Jesus (Spanish pronunciation) but I know for a fact his name is Jesus (English pronunciation) cause I saw his drivers license and it's spelled just like in the Bible".
Facepalm emoticon
@znomit avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
LX190 Friday afternoon special, Primavera, some pushbikes
Joined: UTC
Posts: 10060
Location: Hermit Kingdom
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@znomit avatar
LX190 Friday afternoon special, Primavera, some pushbikes
Joined: UTC
Posts: 10060
Location: Hermit Kingdom
UTC quote
He's given up bowling and is now a gym rat?
Forum member supplied image with no explanatory text
UTC

Molto Verboso
'07 GTS250, '07 LX150, '81 P200E, '78 P200E, '64 V90 and 3 Ciaos
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1033
Location: Tucson, AZ
 
Molto Verboso
'07 GTS250, '07 LX150, '81 P200E, '78 P200E, '64 V90 and 3 Ciaos
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1033
Location: Tucson, AZ
UTC quote
I've saved this receipt for years! I keep trying with the idea of making a T-shirt that says:

Jesus called out to me, but my voicemail was full.
The evidence.
The evidence.
@gbaby avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
Modern Primavera (not pictured); Moto Guzzi V-85 TT
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1671
Location: Los Angeles, CA
 
Molto Verboso
@gbaby avatar
Modern Primavera (not pictured); Moto Guzzi V-85 TT
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1671
Location: Los Angeles, CA
UTC quote
Cosmo4me wrote:
At a gym in Tennessee, "He calls hisself Jesus (Spanish pronunciation) but I know for a fact his name is Jesus (English pronunciation) cause I saw his drivers license and it's spelled just like in the Bible".
https://www.theonion.com/christ-getting-in-shape-for-second-coming-1819569039
@stickyfrog avatar
UTC

Moderatus Rana
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
 
Moderatus Rana
@stickyfrog avatar
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
UTC quote
Just push a little harder. It needs some lube.
@fleece avatar
UTC

Ossessionato
1991 Vespa T5 Pole Position, 2008 Vespa S 125, 2023 Piaggio MP3 300HPE Sport
Joined: UTC
Posts: 4134
Location: Staffordshire England
 
Ossessionato
@fleece avatar
1991 Vespa T5 Pole Position, 2008 Vespa S 125, 2023 Piaggio MP3 300HPE Sport
Joined: UTC
Posts: 4134
Location: Staffordshire England
UTC quote
Bill Dog wrote:
Everyone likes a dry hump.
stickyfrog wrote:
Just push a little harder. It needs some lube.
sometimes 'No Context' can be a good thing
@monogodo avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
 
Molto Verboso
@monogodo avatar
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
UTC quote
"Holla dolla mofo bitch. Nomeen mofo huh. Holla dolla mina muthafucka. How she gon dodat?"
UTC

Molto Verboso
'07 GTS250, '07 LX150, '81 P200E, '78 P200E, '64 V90 and 3 Ciaos
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1033
Location: Tucson, AZ
 
Molto Verboso
'07 GTS250, '07 LX150, '81 P200E, '78 P200E, '64 V90 and 3 Ciaos
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1033
Location: Tucson, AZ
UTC quote
monogodo wrote:
"Holla dolla mofo bitch. Nomeen mofo huh. Holla dolla mina muthafucka. How she gon dodat?"
Somebody watching Pootie Tang on the background?
@dibiasio avatar
UTC

Addicted
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
 
Addicted
@dibiasio avatar
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
UTC quote
I love this thread.
@monogodo avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
 
Molto Verboso
@monogodo avatar
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
UTC quote
az_slynch wrote:
Somebody watching Pootie Tang on the background?
It was a homeless guy, so there's no telling what the context was that inspired his outburst.
@stickyfrog avatar
UTC

Moderatus Rana
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
 
Moderatus Rana
@stickyfrog avatar
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
UTC quote
We need more in gnaw bone.
@stickyfrog avatar
UTC

Moderatus Rana
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
 
Moderatus Rana
@stickyfrog avatar
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
UTC quote
"Is the damp box getting too warm?"
@bajarob avatar
UTC

Addicted
1961 VS5T, 1981 P200E, Rigid Frame Chopper, 2001 Harley FXDXT
Joined: UTC
Posts: 588
Location: Ventura, CA
 
Addicted
@bajarob avatar
1961 VS5T, 1981 P200E, Rigid Frame Chopper, 2001 Harley FXDXT
Joined: UTC
Posts: 588
Location: Ventura, CA
UTC quote
While walking up to a plane with two people inside prepping for paint repair, "You're going to get a really good check for that".
@adri avatar
UTC

Atypical Canadian
2009 Vespa S50(LX150 motor swap), 2006 Vespa GTS250ie
Joined: UTC
Posts: 2289
Location: Toronto, Canada
 
Atypical Canadian
@adri avatar
2009 Vespa S50(LX150 motor swap), 2006 Vespa GTS250ie
Joined: UTC
Posts: 2289
Location: Toronto, Canada
UTC quote
Apologies this one's gonna be a little longer than the rest:

Came home early from work yesterday. Heard the missus' voice in the bathroom. The door was shut, the fan was on.

I thought I heard her say "Please don't lick my foot."

My ears perked up. She didn't know I was home. 5 seconds later:

"Seriously, stop. Don't lick my foot. It's weird. I'm naked. Don't do that."

Uh... what? We're not vanilla people, but we're not into feet either... or so I thought.

Our house gets pretty dry during the winter with dry air from the furnace blasting to keep the place warm, but the bathroom gets really steamy whenever she takes one of her scalding hot showers.

"Everything ok in there?"

"Oh you're home... Yeah, come in."

A wall of steam hit my face. On the other side was the missus with my old doggo at her feet. She brought the pup in the bathroom to get her out of the dry air while she showered, then apparently the pup got thirsty Facepalm emoticon
@mpfrank avatar
UTC

Ossessionato
2020 MP3 500 HPE Sport ABS/ASR
Joined: UTC
Posts: 4665
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Ángeles sobre el Río Porciúncula
 
Ossessionato
@mpfrank avatar
2020 MP3 500 HPE Sport ABS/ASR
Joined: UTC
Posts: 4665
Location: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora Reina de los Ángeles sobre el Río Porciúncula
UTC quote
Cosmo4me wrote:
At a gym in Tennessee, "He calls hisself Jesus (Spanish pronunciation) but I know for a fact his name is Jesus (English pronunciation) cause I saw his drivers license and it's spelled just like in the Bible".
Because we all know that the Bible was written in English.
@bill_dog avatar
UTC

eeeee bip
BMW R1100RT The Problem Child Kymco Downtown 300 - I'm not the Uber
Joined: UTC
Posts: 20198
Location: South East Great England of Britishland
 
eeeee bip
@bill_dog avatar
BMW R1100RT The Problem Child Kymco Downtown 300 - I'm not the Uber
Joined: UTC
Posts: 20198
Location: South East Great England of Britishland
UTC quote
Yeah we wrote that story.

You're welcome.

Thank you for calling.
@monogodo avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
 
Molto Verboso
@monogodo avatar
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
UTC quote
"There's nothing sexy about a Taryn Rose shoe."
@stickyfrog avatar
UTC

Moderatus Rana
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
 
Moderatus Rana
@stickyfrog avatar
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
UTC quote
Jaime picked up the fancy Spanish in Elgin.
@monogodo avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
 
Molto Verboso
@monogodo avatar
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
UTC quote
Six large black men got on the elevator at the loft building where I used to live, along with a cute lesbian cop and myself.

Guy #1: "I need a shot right now."
Guy #2: (Turned to the cop and asked), "Did you hear him?"
Guy #2: (To Guy #1), "She can hook you up right now."
Guy #1: (Turned & saw she was a cop), "Not that kind."

She just smiled.
@rstringfellow avatar
UTC

Member
2023 Primavera 150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 25
Location: South Salish Sea, WA
 
Member
@rstringfellow avatar
2023 Primavera 150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 25
Location: South Salish Sea, WA
UTC quote
"intuitive animal autopsy examinations"
@seamus26 avatar
UTC

Ossessionato
1979 P200E (sold) / ZNEN Amore 150 (sold) / Genuine Buddy 170i / Genuine Stella 4T /Aprilia Sportcity One 50
Joined: UTC
Posts: 2272
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
 
Ossessionato
@seamus26 avatar
1979 P200E (sold) / ZNEN Amore 150 (sold) / Genuine Buddy 170i / Genuine Stella 4T /Aprilia Sportcity One 50
Joined: UTC
Posts: 2272
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
UTC quote
az_slynch wrote:
I've saved this receipt for years! I keep trying with the idea of making a T-shirt that says:

Jesus called out to me, but my voicemail was full.
There's a "Jesus take the wheel" joke in there somewhere; I just know it.
@monogodo avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
 
Molto Verboso
@monogodo avatar
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
UTC quote
"If there was actually a Purge, I wouldn't go out and murder anyone. I'd go out and try to find a way to reduce my student loan debt."
@stickyfrog avatar
UTC

Moderatus Rana
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
 
Moderatus Rana
@stickyfrog avatar
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
UTC quote
Boomy in my eyes excessive. Orange colour and fast.
@dibiasio avatar
UTC

Addicted
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
 
Addicted
@dibiasio avatar
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
UTC quote
stickyfrog wrote:
Boomy in my eyes excessive. Orange colour and fast.
Sounds like Nadsat Droogspeak.
@stickyfrog avatar
UTC

Moderatus Rana
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
 
Moderatus Rana
@stickyfrog avatar
MP3 250 and 2 MP3 500s
Joined: UTC
Posts: 22655
Location: Nashville, Indiana
UTC quote
DiBiasio wrote:
Sounds like Nadsat Droogspeak.
Well it was from a Brit devotchka in a youtube chat I frequent so..
@nomad68 avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
Back on a 125cc!
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1134
Location: High Wycombe UK
 
Molto Verboso
@nomad68 avatar
Back on a 125cc!
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1134
Location: High Wycombe UK
UTC quote
stickyfrog wrote:
devotchka
DeVotchKa

@fleece avatar
UTC

Ossessionato
1991 Vespa T5 Pole Position, 2008 Vespa S 125, 2023 Piaggio MP3 300HPE Sport
Joined: UTC
Posts: 4134
Location: Staffordshire England
 
Ossessionato
@fleece avatar
1991 Vespa T5 Pole Position, 2008 Vespa S 125, 2023 Piaggio MP3 300HPE Sport
Joined: UTC
Posts: 4134
Location: Staffordshire England
UTC quote
I miss being able to have a walk in the garden Margaret.

Aren't you able to walk Jean?

Yes, but I haven't got a garden now.
OP
@jess avatar
UTC

Petty Tyrant
0:7 And counting
Joined: UTC
Posts: 36981
Location: Bay Area, California
 
Petty Tyrant
@jess avatar
0:7 And counting
Joined: UTC
Posts: 36981
Location: Bay Area, California
UTC quote
fleece wrote:
Yes, but I haven't got a garden now.
OP
@jess avatar
UTC

Petty Tyrant
0:7 And counting
Joined: UTC
Posts: 36981
Location: Bay Area, California
 
Petty Tyrant
@jess avatar
0:7 And counting
Joined: UTC
Posts: 36981
Location: Bay Area, California
UTC quote
"You can just tell your little Russian girlfriend to shut up."
@witch avatar
UTC

Moderatrice Strega
Joined: UTC
Posts: 7694
Location: Oregone
 
Moderatrice Strega
@witch avatar
Joined: UTC
Posts: 7694
Location: Oregone
UTC quote
"No, you can't have it back. I stole that fair and square."
@bill_dog avatar
UTC

eeeee bip
BMW R1100RT The Problem Child Kymco Downtown 300 - I'm not the Uber
Joined: UTC
Posts: 20198
Location: South East Great England of Britishland
 
eeeee bip
@bill_dog avatar
BMW R1100RT The Problem Child Kymco Downtown 300 - I'm not the Uber
Joined: UTC
Posts: 20198
Location: South East Great England of Britishland
UTC quote
The phrase "Fixer Upper" said by a German Lady in Germany.
@shebalba avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
2009 GTS250, Ducati Monster M900, KTM 390 Adventure, Honda CR125
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1480
Location: Oceanside, CA
 
Molto Verboso
@shebalba avatar
2009 GTS250, Ducati Monster M900, KTM 390 Adventure, Honda CR125
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1480
Location: Oceanside, CA
UTC quote
'Was MLK alive in 1989?'
'No. But the Berlin Wall came down in 1989.'
'Thats just ridiculous talk.'
@dibiasio avatar
UTC

Addicted
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
 
Addicted
@dibiasio avatar
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
UTC quote
"What's wrong with you, something?"
@dibiasio avatar
UTC

Addicted
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
 
Addicted
@dibiasio avatar
2006 LX150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 609
Location: Los Angeles
UTC quote
fleece wrote:
I miss being able to have a walk in the garden Margaret.

Aren't you able to walk Jean?

Yes, but I haven't got a garden now.
This sounds like dialog from a depressing Norwegian play.
@monogodo avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
 
Molto Verboso
@monogodo avatar
2017 Piaggio BV350
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1046
Location: Irving, TX
UTC quote
"AIG is losing money because of the taint."
@bill_dog avatar
UTC

eeeee bip
BMW R1100RT The Problem Child Kymco Downtown 300 - I'm not the Uber
Joined: UTC
Posts: 20198
Location: South East Great England of Britishland
 
eeeee bip
@bill_dog avatar
BMW R1100RT The Problem Child Kymco Downtown 300 - I'm not the Uber
Joined: UTC
Posts: 20198
Location: South East Great England of Britishland
UTC quote
Another Austrian mention.

Stick Figure Hitler. Said by a Barista this morning.
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