Modern Vespa

I see what you did there.

I don't think I've heard of this before, but I have definitely heard it. That worker I have that doesn't work mondays.

It has 2 meanings.

EDITED: I don't wanna run the risk of getting political so I deleted a bit there.

Apologies everyone: I didn't mean to steer the thread so off-topic.

Professor John I.Q. Nerdelbaum Frink Jr. called it the Dennis Miller Ratio. Great joke but only one in a million people will get it. With reference to :

C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN

In a similar vein, a few weeks ago I heard someone page Carmen Sandiego to the courtesy desk at a local department store. I was in line and when I looked around I was the only one laughing.

I can only hope the culprit saw me.

I'm sitting in the 'Jurors Lounge' waiting to see if my jury duty number gets called. It's library quiet in here aside from two older ladies chatting about farmers markets.

An official makes the following announcement over the intercom:

'I realize there is a lull in processing right now. You'll know if you're coming or going by lunch, I promise.'

One of the old chatty ladies:
'Well that's a relief. I never know if I'm coming or not.'

The older one gets the easier it can be to fall back on the "plausible deniability" defense. She probably knew EXACTLY what that sounded like.

I just passed 4 Burbank cops on the street and the only phrase I heard was "use of deadly force", and then they all laughed. Inside joke I guess...

Driving along with my mate today when we was over taken erratically by a delivery van driver who then nearly caused an accident, I said what a stupid move especially in a livered van, yeah replied my mate Its sign written with the companies name as well

One of them probably farted.

On doodie?

Did the van have logos on the side also ?

Just asking.

More to the point. Did the van display a livery on the side (i.e. was it liveried)? Or did the van driver lack courage (i.e. was he chicken-livered?

You must have been livid.

"Waffle-frolic".

Had to Google that one:

From the 18th century until as late as the mid-20th century, Americans held waffle-eating parties, sometimes known as "waffle frolics." Hosts would serve a variety of dishes, with waffles as the crowning glory of the meal.

Indeed!

"Make sure to put butter in the skillet for the bacon."

Gotta love a student of the English language & all its nuances!

Phil Collins being described as a Little Cockney Bongo Miracle.

Not overheard, but something I just sent out in a message.

"I won't cry over one slice of salami".

Without context ... a little weird.

Prosciutto is another matter however...

Charlie, I'm comin' fer yer girl.

" and we'll repatriate the shards"

"That's where the bang happens".

Seamus:

"In a similar vein, a few weeks ago I heard someone page Carmen Sandiego to the courtesy desk at a local department store. I was in line and when I looked around I was the only one laughing.

I can only hope the culprit saw me."

For the uninformed - like me...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmen_Sandiego_(TV_series)

'And by the way, we're supposed to be warm blooded so we can go in the sun. Some people are cold blooded.'

I'll buy into 50% of that.

"I know who Bob Geldoff is. He's the guy with the beard who said 'You shall not pass' in the LOTR movie."

Please ... make it stop.

I've always wondered what Gandolf's first name was.

"Many are my names in many countries: Mithrandir among the Elves, Tharkûn to the Dwarves; Olórin I was in my youth in the West that is forgotten, in the South Incánus, in the North Gandalf; to the East I go not. For there they call me Bob, and it really ticks me off."

- Gandalf.

Heard earlier - You can only have so much Pepper Pig.

I was told that at a Chines place once and I referred them to their own "All You Can Eat" sign.

Put them in their place, I did.

And the jokes just keep on coming..........

"I didn't even like poop to begin with!"

Not overheard but haphazardly seen without context:

Men AND Sushi ?

A boy can dream