Modern Vespa

So im coming back from the coast this morning after hearing some awful News about 2 of our DSSC members who have been involved in an awful RTA when I felt this stabbing pain in my left testicle.
I was pretty reluctant to look down to see what it was but I'd pretty much guessed what was going on in my groin area because I've been stung a few times before (but never in the nuts) so with great animation I beat my own gentlemans area with my left hand to either kill or at least re-locate the wasp that was shoving it's barb into my nuts.
It seems he got trapped on the underside of my combats and wanted a swift exit.
I think I got him because there was a horrid smear left on my seat when I next looked down but the pain was well and truly dug in for the afternoon.
I gingerly rode home and once there gave myself a good inspection and sure enough there was a puncture wound in my left testicle and it was starting to take on the shape and shade of an over ripe plum.
6 hours later it's in a better condition but take it from me it wasn't pleasant but far funnier in retrospect.

This is nothing when you compare it with our dear friends injuries and I wish them both a swift recovery.

I think I got of very lightly.

Bill X

Ow! Ow! OW!

I wonder what anyone passing would have thought of you beating yourself up as you were riding along...

It must some bizarre self hate thing going on I guess.

Hard not to hurt yourself even more in the process while beating it off.

My poor nads.

"beating it off"..

Oooer, missus!

just count yourself lucky it wasn't the kind of stinging insect that leaves behind a barb and a poison sac which goes on dosing you even after the bug has departed. riding along with a stung nut is one thing ... having to pull a tiny poisonous barb out of your own bollock would have been very unpleasant, i imagine. it's not really the sort of favour you can ask a neighbour to do for you

anyway i trust all is now more or less well in the trouser department.

Ouch! I shouldn't laugh

*it's probably going to happen to me now*

Note to self: buy more body armor.

If you have to make a request like that you would soon find out who your real friends are...

Wearing a box might be a tad uncomfy though:
http://www.owzat-cricket.co.uk/acatalog/Abdo_Guard___Cricket_Box_.html

i'm just relieved this thread didn't come with pictures

Kam, All you have to do is ask. I'm sure I can capture the moment before it returns to normal.

Na best not eh.

Nut returning to normal but slowly.

I did think about pulling over and raking out my nuts for inspection then I realised I was outside.

You new user name is Waspnut.

I've been stung while riding, but never in such a delicate place. You have my sympathies.

It has been said that bee venom and wasp venom have a "Viagra" like effect on some people.

Did you notice any changes??

... like a swollen stinger?

Erm.......I'll get back to you on that one........give me a minute........

Bill

I've just had a very hot bath and things don't seem too bad so far but whoa it was touch and go for while there.

Right that's it I'm off up the pub.

Bill X

Dude you might have some super sperm. May spawn some wasp/human super hero. Wait...english super hero. One that gets shit face drunk, eats tasteless food, bad teeth and will fight at the drop of a dime. Use a rubber.

Wowzers, that's nasty. That is another good reason to be wearing riding pants and not shorts.

Yes I guess I should have been using decent riding pants but hey I was wearing more than the guys coming back from the coast.

I wonder if I get a chance to reproduce one day I'll produce the Wasp/Person/Hybrid Thingy you were talking of.

Anyone want to step up to the mark to find out ?

Bill X

ow ow ow ow ow ow.....I'd have crashed. Props for keeping it upright...er so to speak

The next time I can't get it up ( not that there has been a first time ) I'm going to go looking for a hive.

Bill X

No Bill, you do not want bees - they are the ones that leave their stings behind complete with pulsating poison sac. Not so nice for one's sensitive bits. I would imagine, that is.

In that case, you can't be feeling too bad

(Ouch! though. Glad you're feeling better.)

Where's the problem ? Smiles. I think it must have been a wasp because there wasn't a barb left pumping into my nuts.

I didn't think I'd ever say that.

This is the latest in armour for riding








Janine

Get a friend to make a small incision and suck the venom out.

I have seen it done in the movies

Right 1st I need a friend.....anyone ?

you could always put an advert on a dating website: 'wanted adventurous individual with high resistance to toxins, to suck poison out of my nether regions.'

that should attract some interesting responses

And out come the freaks. I'll get back to you on that one.

Where are my crayons?

That's Nutz! Good job for staying upright, it's amazing what manner of man and beast come to assault us when we are just merrily tooling along.

Throw away the riding helmet, get a brass cup instead. I mean, you can always get someone to do your thinking for you.

I'll admit it was a little wierd knowing what was going on but not wanting to panic brake or flap around like mad thing and end up in a ditch.
I don't think it was in there for long but oh did it throb for a few hours afterwards.
Trying to keep my cool, swat the wasp, deal with the discomfort and ride was a bit of a challenge.
But as you've read it was fun.

Isn't this the kind of event that's supposed to turn you into some kind of superhero? VespaMan, or something?

I think it only counts if it is radioactive. Mind you it was never going to be a Spider was it because they can't fly or jam thier ass into you.

Mind you I would settle for being called Vespa Man.

All that's left is a very small puncture wound in my left testicle and it's slightly sore.

It could have been a bee.

No, I repeat, not a bee Bill. They commit suicide on you by leaving bits behind. Remember the pulsating sacs...

One of my biggest fears is getting stung by anything while our riding as I'm allergic to those critters and I have about 20 minutes to live as I go into anaphylactic shock.

I guess it could be pulsing but he said he everything seemed to be working fine....of wait, not that sac.

I've been stung in the cheek and on the forehead by wasps when I've had my visor up at slow speeds and many a bug has ended up down the inside of the helmet going buzzz buzzz.
I'm kind of used to it now.

Ahhh!! That's what I was referring to - getting stiff, Viagra, etc.

A Stinger on your Dinger...ha...(not really funny though)...C'mon...there has to be dozens of jokes we can make about this...of course, now that you are ok, it should be ok to joke about it....like, next time BEE more careful.....etc...