Modern Vespa

i'd love to help you fill the room fay but i'm away on a birthday trip that weekend

fang is fully recovered - found some tooth curing gel stuff at the back of the bathroom cupboard and went to bed with a mouthful of it. woke up pain-free.
(the web-pinching trick helped as well - i must be from norfolk )

lovely lunch with manfetti and mate at the distiller's in hammersmith today

Sorry I couldn't make it... just back from Abu Dhabi, which was an amazing experience. Sore ass from a camel trip and many near-death experiences with the local drivers. Best fun was some proper dune surfing in a Toyota Land Cruiser, which was completely vomit inducing... glad I didn't have lunch before I went on that little trip. Petrol is 7p a litre! Not a wonder they all drive massive 4x4s in the desert...

Highly recommended, but I didn't like Dubai much (too Western), at least Al Ain (an oasis - literally - in the middle of the desert), where I was staying had a more interesting flavour, local Emiratis in full dress walking around the bars clutching pints and smoking shisha.

Not us, but same cars and you'll get the idea:

we missed you at lunch today doug! glad you had a lovely time you better not have a tan

Your absence was indeed bemoaned, but glad you had a great trip.

Great fun meeting Matt and his friend Chris, I'm so glad we got a meet together.

Indeed I do... with a tinge of lobster, and my remaining hair has also gone a bit blond...

i'm glad we managed to get some proper pub food into them before they leave tomorrow. the bangers n mash were delicious but i'm a bit gutted that nobody was brave enough to order the 'pussy' for £2.50.

lovely lunch.

feel like a nap now but it's time to get ready and trek across town to a birthday party.

with pussy at that price i'm taking an extra fiver next time i go that pub!

I can't believe I missed cheap pussy

Yes I agree it was great to meet Matt and Chris at the Distillers in Hammersmith together with Jim, Kam, Mr and Mrs Wonder and Genie.

I too was going to go for the £2.50 Pussy but I was too full after my meal.

Once again a great choice of pub and the food was pretty excellent as well. The Barman was quite good looking too.

The Music - that of a Jazz Fusion style was a little "Ron Jeremy" but none the worse for that.

Matt's mate Chris was the spitting image of Peter Gabriel but not the Lamb lies down on Broadway Peter Gabriel but the Up album onwards Peter Gabriel.

Really lovely to meet you guys and well as spend time with the Koks.

Right on time the Hornet has started doing that horrid clutch thing again but Scootech did me proud by blowing out some unwanted dust out of the gearbox casing with an airline which has improved it somewhat but it really wants taking off and giving it a clear out.

That can wait till after Holland.

Good to have you back Doug.

Be good all.

Bill X

And right on time the Hornet behaves itself all the way home down the A2.

Not one rumble or rattle from the clutch housing.

Ho hum.

Anyone for Pussy ?

Where can I get a "I'm better in bed than Tiger Woods" T-shirt ?

Bill X

First day as dayglo derek, courtesy of a free bib from Scooterworld, my dealer.

I think I might be a convert - people really do see you and get out of the way. I made very good progress, taking off about 10 minutes off my usual time!!!

People almost killing you due to not seeing you: 0
People getting out of the way: 7
Drivers overtaken without stress: many

Looking like a total berk: Priceless

OK, so there's a change in the risk you face. What's changed about how you look?

Well quite.... sadly my triumph was undercut a little on the way home by one nutter who attempted to cut into my lane - at least he didn't have the classic excuse of I didn't see you!

Maybe it's time to fold and find a decent day - glo.

I can't do cheap though.

Just to raise a Flag - MAG will be fighting the Police randomly stopping motorcyclists and handing out free hi-vis and 'dire warnings' about not using it. There are many examples of when it is actually counter-productive (as with daytime use of headlights) - so the rider should decide depending on their own expeience and perceptions.

If we're not careful they'll make it complusory, just like they did helmets, without proper research.

Rider's Choice! Rider are Voters!

i quite like my oxford one:

edit: dammit i can't get the image to work. just go here and check it out

couldn't agree more jim.

there will surely come a time when a mass of hi-viz and day-running lights will be counterproductive and riders will be lost in a haze of visibilty aids.

The H-belt works for me. I can be a dark sillouette when necessary as well as a bright object when lit up.

Each to their own, vive la difference!

Serious now - I have the classic Sam Browne which I have been wearing at night for a few years, and that works fine outside town.

But inside town and in traffic its not so good. The day glo derek look may have edge.

The bib has another drawback at speed - flaps more than a teenage girl on the way to a school disco.... but it was free

The flappy day-glo bib is annoying at speed, but I find it helps if I consider it a luminous cape.

Well it seems that parenthood and Christmas have brought out my underlying racist tendencies I never knew I had. After I found out that my beautiful little 3 year old is playing a christmas pudding in her playschool chrimbo play, I have spent the whole day complaining that my beautiful blonde little girl should be an angel not a pudding.
When I got home from work, Sue set me straight (as usual) by comparing my outbursts Al Murray, Homer Simpson and Hitler.
I stand corrected and a little embarrassed.

i'd like to meet sue some day

For reasons I can't fully explain I can't use the word Crimbo anymore.

Marc, enjoy your freedom to use this cringeworthy word.

Bill XX

Quite agree that Crimbo is cringeworthy, but it's way better than 'the holidays'.

I can still remember that I was The Narrator at my primary school Nativity play. My voice was more impressive than my face, even then.

I accidentally left my Sam Browne at my boyfriend's place last weekend If I get knocked off and killed between now and Christmas I'll be really, really peeved.

I'd be quite pleased if the police gave me free hi-viz...it's about the best result I can envisage of being stopped by the law.

Day two of the dayglo derek and I have to concede it works.

People get out of the way! WTF!

On this standing I should cover myself with it and will be able to get from home to the centre of town in ten minutes.

how's this for hair-raising stupidity?....

i have quite a lot of icelandic kroner left over, and want to exchange it for pounds. i know the bank doesn't charge commission, but i also know that they don't handle every currency under the sun, so i stopped by my local branch yesterday and queued for ten minutes to ask the lady at the information desk if i could exchange kroner there. she looked it up and told me that i could, but that i'd have to join the queue for the cashiers. as the latter queue was about 25 minutes long at that point, i decided it was better to return today.

...so this morning i joined the queue for the cashiers, and waited 10 minutes - not bad. on seeing the bills i handed to her, the nice cashier's first words were 'irish corona? i don't think this is real money, love.'

i pointed out to her that the word on the bottom left of the note was 'iceland', not 'ireland,', and that indeed it was real currency. she then spent about 10 minutes looking it up on the system, with the help of two colleagues... after which she informed me that in fact they can't exchange it as it isn't on their system.

i pointed out that it was on the system at the information desk, where i'd enquired yesterday. she then told me that 'the two systems aren't linked, so sometimes that information is wrong.'

and to think that i trust these people with my money

genie

Science has been able to identify the limits of man's intelligence, but no one has been able to plumb the depths of man's stupidity

Irish Corona! I'll have a bottle of that.

I usually use the Post Office for currency, or look here for the best deal.

cheers for the link alice - it took me straight to a place that does it for free!

Glad to hear it! It usually points me at a place on the Strand I can walk to in my lunchbreak, handily enuff.

I'm listening to Bob Dylan's Christmas In The Heart. It's exactly as you would expect an album of Christmas favourites sung by Bob Dylan to sound.

Gravelly Father Christmas??

Come and sit on my knee little boy, and I'll tell you all about the lonesome death of Hattie Carroll...

Something tells me I wouldn't want to be working on the other side of the counter the day that Genie came back to the Bank.

Did you resolve your Irish Corona problem ?

Bill X

You mean a load of Christmas Songs sung really badly ?

I'll admit he writes great tyrics but oh that voice is terrible and it's never improved with age unlike John Martyn. (Joke)

He should have stuck to writing songs for others and not assulted us with his meandering whining voice.

Sorry Husky but I just don't get the Dylan thing but having said that you should hear the crap listen to.

Yes I'm a bit of a Humbug because I actually wince when I hear the first of the Christams songs being played in the stores usually in mid October.

My most hated are - Simply having a wonderful Christmas time, I wish it could be Christmas everyday, Fairytale in New York ( I think it's called) and Maria Carey's All I want for Christmas is you. Just awful.

It's enough to make me turn around and walk back out of Mothercare.

Happy Christmas everyone.

Bill X Ho Ho Ho

Husky I'll come and sit on your knee anytime you like.

Bill - please go and have a lie down until you realise that Fairytale of New York is actually a lovely bit of poetry, containing some truly touching lines about the nature of love and relationships.

Alice: http://www.midlandmemorabilia.co.uk/TV.htm if you haven't seen this before, I think you should.

Hey, I've got Basil Brush Goes Flying! I didn't realise it was a hot collectable! (and all the Man from UNCLE annuals )

Must admit I'm not wild about 'Fairytale Of New York' either. Objectively I know it's excellent, it just doesn't do it for me in the way that e.g. John Lennon's 'Merry Xmas (War Is Over)' does. Or Simon & Garfunkel's '7 O'Clock News/Silent Night'.

ok so maybe fairytale in new york is an epic piece of late c20th poetry yadda yadda yadda but it makes me run out of shops too. as does anything involving sting/bob geldof/celine dion/etc. accompanied by a children's choir and a load of sugary sentimentality.

oh, and 'have yourself a merry little christmas' turns my stomach too. gah

There is only one Crimble song worth the name:

Slade's Merry Christmas, obv.

If anyone knows a better lets all get the pub rockin' song I'd like to know about it. The Flirtations "Christmas Time Is Here Again" is also brilliant.

Sorry Husky but I find John and Yoko's effort is teeth grindingly irritating particularly for that bit at the end that goes "noooowooowowowowowowowowow", as is Macca's "Wonderful Christmastime" or Chris Rea's "Driving Home for Christmas".

The worst?? Chris Be Bueeeeergh's "A Spaceman Came Travelling" is an obsencity.

Well. You're a miserable Humbuggering lot, aren't you?

Am I the only one who likes (the film) White Christmas as well?

To my shame, I don't think I've actually seen White Christmas - or indeed It's A Wonderful Life

Would it strip the last shreds off my diminishing credibility if I admitted a partiality to A Spaceman Came Travelling? Christmas is a time for oozing sentimentality, after all.

Also Rolf Harris's Six White Boomers. Snow-white boomers! On the Australian run!