Modern Vespa

Oh I like carols and music at Christmas and also "It's a Wonderful Life" - but really get fed up of hearing that EMI Christmas Album which gets played everywhere.

Husky, I'm sorry but liking anything by Chris De Bueeergh is uncool in the extreme. Did you know he claimed to have the power to heal the sick? I think he should stop making people ill in the first place.

Laydeeee in red....

In penance, I submit two Christmas songs that surely nobody could hate:

Run Run Rudolph - Chuck Berry
Little Saint Nick - Beach Boys

Strawberry, Cranberry, Loganberry, Chuck Berry!

Yeah, those are great songs - they should play them more often.

Anyone who tries to rhyme Dance with Romance deserves to be put in jail for crimes against music and as for Lady in Red. Jesus.

I'm with Genie on Fairytale in New York, once I hear those opening bars I want to shield my ears from it because lets face it he can't sing and the only reason we warm to it is because it contains the words faggot and arse both which tickle us on a purile level.

We do attach great sentimentality to Kirsty McColls voice but it's a rubbish song played way too often even if it is once a year.

New England is so much better even if it was written by Billy Bragg.

I may have seen a theme developing here. Is it me or are the members sans enfants that only find Christmas songs bloody annoying ?

Discuss.

Bill

If anyone thinks I'm joking I'm actually not, I can't bare hearing Christmas songs in stores and supermarkets because it has the opposite effect - I don't want to shop anymore.

What a miserable Hector.

I find all Christmas songs bloody annoying. Always have done.

And as for those pretentious adverts for perfume or aftershave oh they make me so mad because they don't make any sense and the more expensive the product the more pretentious the star and advert

My two most disliked are those massive pay days for Ewan McGreggor "on his journey" and "I'm a dancer - I love to dance" Nicole Kidman.

I can't even remember what the name of the smellies are !

Arse.

Bill X

Wait - "dance" and "romance" do rhyme...

/J_says_out_loud "Dance". "Romance".

Totally rhyme.

Only if you say it Ro - marnce. Not Romance.

I think the Nolans are guilty of that crime as well.

Actually that's a good question - what other artists try to smash those two words together in a pathectic attempt to make them rhyme ?

I hate soft furnishings as well.

Must be your plummy accent, Bill.
(Disclaimer: I've never heard Bill speak and have no idea whether his accent is "plummy" or not.)

Oh, and the gents' fragrance you were talking about is Davidoff Adventure. It's quite nice actually, I got some as a present. The advert is rather wank though.

That's it Adventure and the advert is enough for me to never buy some.

I can just see loads of biker types laughing out loud of thier lattes.

Pretty high on the wank stakes.

Gotta be my favourite.....

Lets just ramp it up on the cheese-o-meter shall we ?

i had one of those rare moments of supreme self-satisfaction on the way home today.

one of my favourite bits of my route home is a little section of twisties just before the dreaded swiss cottage intersection: 180 degrees round a roundabout, then a hard left onto a short uphill switchback. i've been taking this particular set of bends nearly every day for several years now and can navigate them in a reasonably committed fashion.

just prior to this set of twisties is a straight section of road. some twat on a GTS had been riding my arse all the way up this straight bit of road - either he was trying to satisfy his urgent need to Overtake Woman on Scooter and couldn't quite commit, or he was just trying to intimidate me. whatever the case, he was riding about 3' off my back bumper all the way up this stretch of road and really annoying me.

as we entered the twisties, however, i suddenly noticed a great distance open up between us. a quick glance in my mirror confirmed that he wasn't doing this out of any concern for maintaining a safe distance, but because he was cornering like a total fanny

i know i shouldn't have felt as pleased with myself as i did, but ....

Ah Grasshopper, you have nothing more to learn.

i'm afraid so.

and it went la la la laaaaaa la la laaaaa la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

Yes! Victory! Or something.

I congratulate you on behalf of seriously "underwhelmed by your need to tailgate me" female scooter riders everywhere.

Here's $50 bring me the head of Chris de Burgh.

I HATE YOU.

That is now stuck in my head, and I think you meant to do that with malice aforethought.

i'm so sorry

Mm. While I chew over your sincere apology, the Wonders move tomorrow - and consequently we will be intermongless for a time.

if it's any consolation it's embedded itself into my psyche as well. i'm going to have to pour boiling water into my ears to get rid of it

hope the move goes well. let us know when we can visit nouveau chez wonder, bearing bottles of champers and derrida

It's all very emotional - we've lived around Hammersmith for around seven years.

Put it this way, David is struggling to say goodbye to the same pizza delivery man we've had for all that time...

Our neighbours have been so sweet, and the chaps in the pub made almost cry into my chips the other day because they were so nice. My dealer made me promise to come back by giving me lots of free stuff!

But very excited - East Dulwich is the first bit of London I will have lived in that isn't grotty

Best wishes for a smooth move Mr and Mrs Wonder.

When you get reconnected to the Interweb lets have the hilarious details of the move because I'm sure they will be plenty.

I'll be thinking of you as I walk down the highways and byways of Old Amsterdam in my clogs pointing at stuff.

Sorry but needs must.

Bill X

pot....kettle....

See what a few real country ride-outs will do for the flick-flack attitude to the twisties - even in town.

I also love the "Otto whoosh" factor of "cornering like a total fanny". <snerk>

And your combined presence will make it even more refined. And yes, that was sincere.

I might have the head of Alfredo Garcia somewhere around.

Fay

Or even Ali Bongo if he still has a career. Did he ever have a career ?

Fay I wish you the very best for your bash at the weekend.

I'm sorry I can't attend but I'm driving to the land of Volcanos,Hot Springs,Fishing,Bankcrupt Banks and Bjork.

That's right Holland.

I'm hoping the balloon man/pirate hybrid will be on the ferry so I can get another donkey made.

Bill XX

oh dear.

it's the work xmas do tonight.

let's hope this time i don't drink so much that i think every single train in london stops at my local station. this inevitably ends in frustration and a very expensive cab home from somewhere past heathrow

at least the cabbie has the pleasure of my company into the early hours. hic.

Oh man, that's going to be in my head all day now! Nice video, hadn't seen it before.

I had a close one this morning in the bus lane approaching Elephant & Castle when a car driver shot across my path into Kwik Fit. Pressing need for tyres, clearly. I'm not normally a fan of using the horn after the event, cos what's the point, but on this occasion I gave him a good blast. He took absolutely no notice, and I floated the rest of the way to work on a cloud of adrenalin.

Good luck for the move, Wonders - and for the work do, Kam. Don't do what I did a couple of years ago and end up in hospital.

Ali bongo has regrettably only recently left us. In spite of his rather dotty image, he was a towering intellect of magic, knew more about the nuts and bolts of it than anybody else of his generation, was the magic advisor behind Paul Daniels and more importantly David Nixon, and left us all too soon. Oh yes he had a career!
To happier things

To whet the appetite of anybody considering a ground breaking event on Sunday night, attached is the menu. All this for 40 quid. Two great singers, Piff the Magic Dragon, a great live band and you only have to put up with a very little bit of me.

Wish I'd went to work on the Mp3 last night, the traffic was appalling and only just made the gig.

Afternoon all.

I have a love hate relationship with Christmas. Every year I get arsed off at the consumerism, the songs, the telly, the cheap tat and swear to every god that next year will be different. Come Christmas day however I find myself strangely emotional. (I think its the booze)

Pic to prove my point.

If that's you looking emotional, I'd hate to see your cold stare

I'm off to the races tomorrow with the family. Important to get the baby used to it. If anyone fancies a bet, I'd put a little something on Garde Champetre in the Cross Country Chase at Cheltenham tomorrow.

Oh dear, Marc, I think you've spilt something on your jumper.

Ah Christmas shopping has been great so far, with ear-plugs in i cant hear the "music" or the screaming toddlers

Marc has obviously just seen a strange light in the sky and is preparing to follow it to Bethlehem.

.... la la la laaaaaa la la laaaa la la laaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

I walked into Sainsbury's this lunch time and guess what was playing ?

Yes you've guessed it Fairytale in New York ! But it was a really weird version where the male vocal was in key and it didn't contain the word Faggot.

You're fucking with my history man.

Bill X