Modern Vespa

Like Tricia MacMillan going back for her handbag and missing the opportunity to travel the galaxy with Zaphod Beeblebrox?

I know anything yr well-meaning friends can say at this point re another, better opportunity turning up soon will sound like nauseating platitudes, but have some anyway.

Yes, pretty much like that. Christ, it was just a horrible coincidence that happened, I had no idea that on Thursday I had the opportunity to probably ditch being a fucking lawyer for good and do what I love, but that opportunity would only exist for perhaps 12 hours.

Moral is check your email, have it surgically attached to your head or something.

Bummer.

Shit. Yeah. Oh, I so hope you still get to ditch lawyering for keeps at the earliest opportunity.

I lost a column in the Sunday Times.

I can't tell you how fucking gutted I am.

I will pick myself up, but FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

and so on.

FUCK!

what an absolute bummer. i would have enjoyed your column just prior to collapsing in front of the fire after a massive meal and a couple of real ales.

Hope you guys had a great weekend!! WM, you got more fans but missing a coloumn is not at all your problem..hope to see them.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I am gutted on your behalf Kate, I would have read the column too and I am sure it would have been the funniest read in the paper.


Good luck with the next one, which I am sure will come along soon.

Marc

Wonder stop being so hard on yourself please.

OK you missed a chance but that's no reason to give yourself so much grief.

Just like London Buses another chance will come along in the future and the next time may well be your time.

Put it in context and move along or I'll be forced into using big words and neither of us want that.

Hitch your skirt up and get on with it.

I could direct you to Doctor Dennis Leary's revolutionary form of therapy ?

Bill.

I take a lot of heart from it because they approached me, I didn't approach them and so I am on the radar. That's good, and very encouraging. I think I have a lot to give a newspaper so I won't stop there.

Next time I will be a cartoon seeking missile aimed at their offices!

Go get 'em girl!

rite ive only just come into this (yeah thats open to some stick) but will someone pour me a lager im parched!

krep i could go down the 'everything happens for a reason' yadda yadda yadda route but i think what you need right now is good old fashioned commiseration. if i lived closer, i'd stop by with a liquid garnish

How about a cartoon Acme Bomb with Bomb written on the side of it with a huge fuse fizzing out the top ?

It worked in Tom and Jerry.

Bill XX

So:

I am openly crying with laughter.

Nice to know that you havn't lost your sense of humour.

Bill X

Have one on me.



http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article767390.ece

cheers jim,

i wanna go primer my et4 but i need to get a half decent extractor my wood workshop as it isnt the best place to spray!

when you entering yours k factor

I've found the crack of bread. Sweet Bread from the Tasty Bakery LTD.

On it's own in it's natural state it's lovely and stodgy but you toast it and add Apricot Jam and with just one bite you're addicted.

Dammit and I was just coming off my 12 step programme for Crumpet Lust.

Bill XX

OMG that stuff would sink the titanic. it's like sweetened semi-solid mastic with a crust. i hope you aren't planning on going swimming in the next few weeks.

@bitsa .... i didn't knit my rabbit. i don't know how to knit

Kate, look upon it as a defence of your integrity until the next chance comes along. It will come along. Folk keep saying "whit's fur ye'll no go by ye" to me, so if they're to be believed you'll end up with an even better chance. And if we can't trust wise auld wives with good intentions who can we trust?

Swimming ? I can't even get off this chair this morning.

Bill XX

Wonder Arse! 8) There's always a next time...make it so! xoxo

I've told you where you can find a friendly knitting club. Mind you, it's in a very dodgy area....

yes, i've heard about those southwark knitters - a vicious bunch. i don't want stabbing in the eye with a needle thank you very much

I know Southwark has needles but you don't normally find people knitting with them....

Bloody Hell is that the return of Creth ?

Rubs eyes in a I've just woken up fashion.

Welcome back.

Bill XX

OOOOOH that's scary.

The dreaded Creth. That's worse than the dreaded lurgy, isn't it???
Where in heck has she been lately???
I think she's been posing under a different name.

Creth, where in the hell have you been.???

After my disappointment yesterday, I decided to not let the grass grow under my feet.

I sent my portfolio off to an agency and have been accepted, all in 23 hours. Sunday Times, you haz it WRONG.

Nice one. I believe that's what "they" call "taking the bull by the horns" or something along those lines anyway. Well done!

If life gives you lemons you make....

a large whisky, learn to curse the lemons and trample them underfoot.

how behind the times am i ... i just "borrowed" me sons sansa mp4 thingy and i now think im a programmer cos i can rip cds onto it ... just need to find some errrrr them earplug jobbys ..

clever me

WM: Why not start your own publication? You could create Donkei Skok Quarterly, The periodical of the less discerning. You are talented enough to fill a whole magazine with your cartoons and humour, there are also enough giant brains amongst the Skoks who could fill some column inches.

From what I hear , Bill already has a big column


(edited because I found a spelling mistake, bodes well ... )

Ha!

I could have one section dedicated to high minded pursuits and then the other half could all be porn and beer adverts. Depends on your mood which one you read.

I know which bit I would read. But I never claimed to be high-minded.

excellent, excellent. as a professional writer i would be happy to contribute. i can furnish flatulent prose on a variety of subjects ranging from eighteenth-century aesthetics to contemporary poststructuralist debates.

well, until the gear comes out and it all goes to shit. put me down for a limerick or two.

Well I had thought to market it to people on the tube. Looks respectable from one angle and then filth from the other.

Once a young gay from Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room.
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

Can I just do the purile knob gags ?

Bill's Column. Work of Genius.

More tomorrow I'm knackered.

Blue Belle is coming to Greece. Oh yes.

Bill XX

Creth hasn't been posting under any other names of that I am certain.

Thank You Thank You. My genius takes a bow.

I am here all week try the veal.