Modern Vespa

Nope, not been posting anywhere. Not even been lurking.

Where've I been? Hrm...loaded question, that...

Nutshell: marriage tanking, leaving husband, living alone for a bit, crying eyes out/contemplating meaning of life/what matters to me, reconciling with husband, moving back home.

That about covers my Summer and Fall. Next week I'm having tummy tuck surgery to remove the last bit of evidence that I was once a fat person. Other than that, same old me. Just older and hopefully a shitload wiser. But probably not.

Well that summed that up nicely.



Good to have you back.

Been through a couple of those myself. Not pleasant.

Well done telling us of it.

Would there be many column inches in my column ?

Good night all.

Billy no Scoot.

Creth, glad you got out the other side.

And nice to have you back.

Width, dear boy, it's the width that matters.

Girth

Yarp.

Wonder, great to hear hings have gotten better. It stinks to think the first opportunity was a 12-hour, one-time deal.

If you need layout help on the vapor-ware magazine... I can help.

hey creth that sounds like a tough summer and fall. good to have you back.

Thanks Genie, et al. It's good to be back. Not really riding right now as my 250 is surrounded a mound of stuff from my now-old apartment (and I'm also trying to keep her miles down as I'm probably going to sell her for a more comfortable weight 150ie when they come out this Spring. Beauty as she is, Juicy's always been a little unweildy to me and my teeny little t-rex arms), but glad to be back in the fold nonetheless. I've missed everyone. My helmet is dusty! WTF?!

Dusty helmets and talk about girth and inches ?

It's good to have you back Creth.

Sometimes you have to go away so you can come back again.....(said in a Nicey and Smashy way)

On a lighter note - Is it me or are there alot of relationships breaking up at the moment ?
Recently many of my close friends have either split up from thier partners or they have realised that there isn't a future with thier present partner and are looking for a way out.
I'm not sure if it's just this time of year when many couples have been forced together over the holidays or it's the recession taking it's toll or the prolonged cold spell is making everyone feel miserable and sorry for themselves.

Discuss.

Bill X

No clue. All I know is that, in terms of my marriage, the separation has been the best thing we could have done in terms of allowing us to work on ourselves and our own thoughts and needs for a while, and then ultimately come together again ready to listen to each other finally. We couldn't have done that had I stayed, dealing with the petty daily shit on top of everything. I don't recommend it for everyone, but it worked for us. So is couple's counseling. And lots of talking. And Cadbury Fruit and Nut as bribe/gifts. Just sayin.'

I just hope it all lasts. If not, I might wind up a British expat. At least I'd be able to get to the new Vespa models sooner. Sheesh.

Ooh, I've got a rage on this morning.

Bloke pulls up next to me at the lights to say "Slow down, you're driving like a tw@. You're not going to get there any faster, you're just going to get killed."

I thanked him for his concern in my poshest and most polite tones. I hope he was proud of himself for starting his day by swearing at a lady.

The irony is that I'm probably one of the slowest and most boring commuters out there, as I like a much wider safety margin than most London bikers seem to require. I had gone past this dude a couple of times, true, but simply by looking ahead and selecting the right lane to be in and by being nippy off the lights where it was safe and appropriate to do so.

He was just cheesed off because my little scooter was running rings around his cruddy Hyosung pretend-cruiser.

Him and his stupid moustache. Grr.

(If I get knocked off and killed on my way home tonight, you can all point and laugh.)

Groan... there's always some patronising arse to tell you where you are going wrong.

I think what he really meant to say is "stop taking the line I would have taken if I had seen it first. You are on a scooter and not supposed to take lines like that. I, on my mighty Hysong Mong, am the king of the lanes".

Yeah mate, fuck off and ride your Mong better.

i had an even simpler translation in mind: 'I'm a man, and you're not supposed to get in front of me. Hmph '

If I see him again, that is absolutely what I'll say to him.

I also think Genie is correct: his ludicrous moustache simply wasn't enough of an outlet for all the spare testosterone he obviously exudes.

I'm pretty sure I overheard him earlier calling some guy on a BMW a dickhead (as I sailed past them both to the head of the queue). He's not long for this world unless he learns to keep his opinions to himself - or his teeth aren't, anyway.

Oh, and congrats on the agency acceptance, Wonder! I forgot to say, in my enraged state.

mr. mong sounds like a frustrated knobjockey who wishes he were a better rider. ignore.

And then he'll be away greetin' on some bike forum: "People on bikes are bad and don't like me for no reason and now I'm going to buy a 4x4 and not look around when I'm driving because people on bikes are so ungrateful and don't like me for no reason, etc, etc... " Tosser.

I can only imagine my response would be slack-jawed astonishment followed immediately by death.

Ooh, moustache, cruiser, was he wearing chaps as well

His I hope? He probably saves those for weekends; I think he was in jeans. Really I should have torn him off a strip for not wearing sufficient protective clothing and trusting the safety of his mug to an open face helmet.

Somehow I came up with this last Tuesday week during my last scoot commute in Detroit. Stopped at a light, a beat-up "hoopty" car pulls up, window goes down and sage advice is dispensed on riding two wheels in the cold. I replied without cursing (I must have been stunned by the cold) "You're new to all this." and smartly accelerated away. I think that they were a frustrated motorcyclist and jealous of my impertinence... c'est la vie wanker!

Tomorrow is looking good for a ride if this snow goes away. Fingers crossed and hooptys be damned.

Oh, I wish I'd said that. Guy was clearly a n00b.

'Hoopty' is a great word! No idea what it means but I'll be using it lots from now on

At your service and yes, it is a great word:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hoopty

love it how this "thread" always make that deep dive ... as for girth ..coke can

Where did all this bloody snow come from?

I made the 40ish mile trip over to my mates freezing the tips off my fingers in the vain hope we'd be able to get the effing airbox off and finally change this belt. In the end we snapped the head off one of the screws before packing the thing up and deciding we'll need to get it down to my mate's dad's for the emergency surgery.

In fairness to the weather I wasn't relishing the return journey so am fairly content to have locked the bike away and am half looking forward to boarding a nice warm train.

In other news, I had a scotch egg bar today and was left wondering where this invention has been all my life. I may never have another Mars bar as long as I live.

The day I listen to cage driver on advice on how to ride is a long way off.

Bill XX

A scotch egg bar?? wtf.

+1 explanation needed.

creme egg bar??

i'm having visions of a chocolate coated scotch egg with a creme center and it's making me feel sick

Isn't it a long scotch egg ? A kind of elongated version ?

I may have eaten one once.

Bill XX

I couldn't wait for an explaination, I took matters into my own hands and googled the bar. Its a Ginsters thing, its like a scotch egg has been squished, mooshed, squashed and rolled into a bar.

Yummy

but you know ginsters are evil in an im going to hell kinda way

Scotch eggs are tasty. Sausage-y egg-y yum-ness.

Creme eggs are chocolate covered snot.

+1


Creme eggs are excellent for feeding to my children when you want them to run around the house like little lunatics for an hour.

any kind of egg that emulates a real egg in a non-eggish material, or that attempts to disguise an egg with a meaty coating, or that marinates an egg in vinegar and goatshit for a thousand years .... is disgusting. end of.

I wish my daughter liked candy. If only so I could wind her up with it and watch her crash (hey, it'd be a way to get her to bed at a decent hour, if I could work out the timing, dig?).

I love candy, but it can't be mucous-textured. Just sayin.' Give me a Reese's PB anything anyday. Several, in fact. I'll pay.

love egg??

And get one of these: