The starter cranks, and air puffs out the tail pipe when it does. Attempting to start sounds and feels exactly as normal aside from the lack of ignition. Using the master key makes no difference. The spark plug wire is securely attached to the spark plug, and all twelve fuses are intact. (There's apparently a hidden fuse? I haven't yet searched for forum for it but will do so directly.)
There is no smell of gas (that I'd expect from a failed fuel pump, right?), so I'm thinking no spark. A pinched or grounded wire somewhere? The ECU hates me?
My friend Erik points out that we have not yet tried dancing around it naked shouting "LIVE!!!"
Failing user-feasible troubleshooting, AAA will tow the bike up to 100 miles. Any suggestions of SoCal Piaggio/Vespa shops that might be in reach of Moreno Valley?
Update: Vespa Sherman Oaks is within towing reach. Best I can tell by Google and phone, it seems Vespa Riverside has ceased to exist...?
⚠️ Last edited by lostboy on UTC; edited 2 times