Modern Vespa

Dear San Diego Scooter Enthusiasts and Friends,

Anyone remember that old guy with the bola tie who used to come on TV late night to hawk used cars while standing next to a tiger? At the time I always thought to myself, "What a nut! This guy thinks that with a tiger in the commercial I'm gonna drive to Orange County for a stupid used car?!"

There's a reason I'm reminded of him today, though, because as I write to you I'm feeling like I need a tiger. That's right: I need a live tiger standing right next to me in my email. That's how crazy this email is about to get.

First of all, we had a blast at Amerivespa 2009, so thanks to all of our friends who stopped by our booth and said hello. Back at the shop we've been twittering a little, running the air conditioning, and not emailing so much, but don't be deceived by our recent reticence. The only reason we've been so quiet lately is that we've been planning a super slam-bang Fantasmabash previously known only by the codeword "NC 17".

Today, friends, I can finally tell you all about NC 17 ("No Cars 17"), but first let me get the tiger...

Catfish and Barry



(That's me, Catfish, on the right. So just listen while Barry (the tiger's named Barry) and I are reading this email right into the porches of your ears.)

Firstly, our August 8th NC-17 event will feature the following ONE-DAY-ONLY sales. Tell the folks about the sales, Barry!

* We're having an Insane Animal-lover Scooter Sale (price list with discounts attached to this email). These are some of the most animal-loving discounts we've ever offered on new scooters.
* In addition, all new scooter sales will have the option of a GIVI top case and a helmet thrown in for free!
* We've also got some wicked emo financing deals on Buddies and Kymcos!

You should forward this email to any of your friends who may be interested in buying a new scooter because this will be the day to go for it!

* Our store-wide sale will also include 30% off regular retail price for all items in stock.
* (Prices are limited to in-stock items only and do not include stuff not here, back-ordered stuff, or special-order stuff.)
* If you want parts, please please please email your complete parts list in advance to Steve@scooterwest.com (part numbers greatly appreciated). We're going to be too busy to go back and hunt up the stuff you need only to be told "Oh yeah, there's one more thing I forgot..."


The NC-17 event itself, featuring the following insane-o stuff, is going to be antic! Check it out:

Saturday August 8th at Motorsport Scooters:

* 9AM: Continental breakfast!
* 9AM-2PM: Enter your scooter in the Scooter Show for prizes in the following categories:

1: Best Vintage/Sickest Vintage Steelhorse
2: Best Modern Custom Scooter/Just Badass new Ride
3: Worst Scooter new or old/This Thing is a pile
4: People's choice/Too cool for school
5: Best Vintage Restoration/Sweet Bonerable Snow Leopard

* 10:00AM-Noon: Meet the Law Tiger (unaffiliated with Barry the tiger). You'll get a chance to spin the Law Tigers' magic wheel of prizes!
* Noon-2:00PM: Carne or Pollo Asada BBQ. If you can't decide, there will also be "carn-icken" tacos. Non-alcoholic drinks will be provided as well as something vegetarian.
* 2:30PM-5:00PM: The Alley Rally Scooter Scavenger Hunt Extraordinaire.

The Alley Rally Scooter Scavenger Hunt Extraordinaire
Here's how it'll go down: teams of 3 will go on a scavenger hunt throughout the city on their scooters. You'll need to branch out and recruit some fellow scooterists who really know the Greater North Park Area for your team, but you'll also need to come up with a sweet team name to help you succeed. There will be a sign-up sheet posted next to the front door early on Saturday morning. PLEASE GET YOUR TEAM TOGETHER AND SIGN UP EARLY BECAUSE SPACE WILL BE LIMITED. VALUABLE AWESOME PRIZES WILL BE REWARDED TO THE TOP THREE TEAMS. THIS will be the most fun you've ever had on a scooter.

* 6:00PM: Awards will be presented for the Scooter Show and the Scavenger Hunt. We will also be hanging out and preparing for the Dice Game. No Making Out at this point (you know who you are).
* 6:30PM: DICE GAME back at the shop

Dice Game
Are you tired of raffles? We sure are. They're long, drawn out, and boring. Bingo at our "sweet 16" was a blast but we can't do that again, so this year we're going to dish out all the "FREE SCHWAG" in a new crazy way. No need to buy raffle tickets or Bingo cards but you WILL NEED A WRIST BAND TO PARTICIPATE. Unlike at a raffle or Bingo, we promise that everyone will go home a winner. We refer to this as the DICE GAME, a family tradition of ours like no other. It will be the most exciting 8 minutes of your life and the best money you have ever spent. The grand prize will be a brand new scooter from Motorsport Scooters and as long as you can roll a pair of dice your chances of winning wll be just as good as the next guy. PLEASE SEE ALEX'S WIFE MONICA THE DAY OF THE EVENT TO BUY YOUR WRIST BAND, (to be included in your rally pack).

To get some food and take part in the dice game you'll need a wrist band, which will require a $20 entry fee, but you'll get more than your money's worth of stuff back: 1) you can win a scooter, 2) you get a commemorative goodie cooler with a collectible t-shirt and various other craps, and 3) we will even be donating a portion of the proceeds to paint a mural celebrating 80 years of El Cajon Boulevard on the Center Laundry Building (3363 El Cajon Blvd).

You won't want to miss this because it is going to be epic. All the animals in the animal kingdom are going to be talking about it for years, and you will too.

Thanks and Ride safely!
Motorsport Scooters in North Park San Diego
Your source for new scooters, parts, supplies, and awesome fun things!

Ew. I can see Robot's tonsils. Oh, sorry - "Barry"s tonsils.

Please thank Alex for the giant birthday party!!!! Funny - I'll be NC-17, too!

This sounds great! Gotta get Kevin to take the day off.....

I never win anything! What kind of scooter is being given away this year? My wife wants a new one.

Does the NC stand for "Not Conscious" ?

Anyone going to this from the LA area?

You guys always throw a great party. If we haven't left for camping yet, we'll be there.

IN

Thanks Catfish and Barry and the rest of the Motorsports gang. Looking forward to this insane, epic, animal-loving party. Besides, I'm pretty sure it's my turn to win a scooter.

Does this also apply to online sales that day?

I am wondering this as well.

Class Act Award: Eric Dutra (Point Loma Scooters)

After winning the Grand Prize, a Brand New 150 Scooter, Eric gave the bike away to the person next in line for the prize.

That was very fun to watch. Best part of the night.

Plus the free tube of toothpaste, I'm way ahead.


P.S. Thanks Motorsports for the great deal on the Scooter Stereo.

Sorry to Rachel & Michael for my dropping out of the scavenger hunt.

Sadly, In the alley, as the event was ending, a drunk woman laughingly rolled over the hood of my car.
I suppose she thought she was being funny.

I'm still making payments on that car, so I didn't find it funny at all.

Why do drunks find themselves so amusing?
I don't think they would have found it amusing if I had rubbed my denim clad ass on one of their scooters.

Alcoholics seem have no respect for themselves or other peoples private property.

She and her friends had the nerve to act as if i should be blessed to have my paint-job damaged by their carelessness.

A wonderful event spoiled for me by the careless act of a binge drinker.

It was certainly a fun time to be sure... Go team "We All Gotta P"!

Elitist... I am 90% certain I know who did that to your car, if it makes you feel any better, I doubt it does, she frequently makes an ass of herself like that. Her significant other, frequently goes out without her for that reason.

And to anyone who was offended by our little shenanigans... you now know what a Pharaohs initiation entails... but screw it, I finally got my patch. I have no pics but hopefully there will be others.

As far as Eric is concerned. I like the guy, I really, really do, and I am glad he did the right thing. However, it took some convincing and I'll leave it at that.

Hey Catfish, Barry, any chance on getting some scores posted? Many of us wanna know how we did. Thanks.

- Team "Two Girls One Cup"

You lost.

But it sure was fun!

I know...we were probably 0.8 points short of winning

Well I sure would like her name and address.

I hate to be a pain in the ass, but there is a 3 inch scratch on the fender of my car.
it's right in the spot that was polished by this chick's generous posterior.

I hope to hear from her soon, as to how we can address this unfair(for me) situation.

If I was intoxicated and I damaged someone else private property I would feel it necessary to make amends.

The Leader of whatever club she belongs to should ask her to make it right and own up to her drunken indisrcresion.

Rex, here are the scavenger hunt results:

Rank Pts Team Name Notes
Rank: 1, 524.3 pts We all gotta P: Used condom, dryer lint, killer Albie's Beef Inn sketch
7 group photos! Most locations visited.
2, 498.0 pts. Sir Gravy and his fair maidens: E for effort, also for eating a cold flying dutchman
6 group photos
3, 440.8 pts. Two lefties and a fucking liberal: Used condom, tasteful Albie's Beef Inn sketch
5 group photos
4, 437.3 pts. Scooter Squadron Reloaded: Used condom, dryer lint
5 group photos
5, 392.5 pts. Mother Fucker Food Eaters: Dryer lint
4 group photos
6, 367.8 pts. Creepy, Crazy, Wicked Bastards: Used condom, photo with a real prostitute (with luggage!)
3 group photos
7, 362.0 pts. 2-bs: Great candid canon shot
5 group photos
8, 331.0 pts. Twist and Fuck Off: Rubbing of child's face, Beer and Wine Mariachi Sketch, Flying Dutchman
1 group photo
9, 326.5 pts. 2 Rockers with Magic Hondas: Dryer lint
4 group photos
10, 295.0 pts. Operation hot mother :
4 group photos
11, 287.0 pts. Two Girls One Cup :
2 group photos
12, 274.8 pts. Team Steve Bailey Suxx: Used condom, awesome Albie's Beef Inn sketch
4 group photos
13, 253.0 pts. Dirty Filthy Rinks: Most famous apple pancakes eaten
3 group photos
14, 233.0 pts. Sucks to be you :
2 group photos
15, 208.0 pts. Ya'll Can go to hell. We goin scavengin : Brought back a car tire and tickets to 4th and B
3 group photos

We're also posting photos on the new website if anyone wants to send some pics over to steve (at scooterwest.com).

This might be a little easier to read:

NC-17 Scavenger Hunt Stats in brief

Used condoms retrieved: 5
In-N-Out Flying Dutchman brought back that were later eaten cold: 2
Illicit-looking massage parlor photographs: 11
Number of travel-sized liquor bottles drunk by scavenging teams: 5
Mustaches measured: 4
Prostitutes with luggage photographed: 1
Number of teams, out of 15 competing, who took 5 or more group photographs: 4
Overall rank of those four teams: First, Second, Third, and Fourth
Amount of group photos taken by winning team: 7
Naked Group Photos believed to have been taken: 4
Naked Group Photos shared with scoring committee: 0

If you want to go see Cal... try the link below . Cal sold cars all over Calfonrina and Texas I believe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEm1ibd1_xQ

The person who won the scooter had a pretty amazing story. At the end of the dice game, Jennifer found herself holding two packages, one of which she gave to her husband and the other that she gave to Eric Dutra. She'd felt bad for Dutra because he was left with nothing at the end of the dice game (possibly as a result of extreme drunkenness), and that's why she decided to hand her only remaining package off to him.

Turns out, the package she gave him had the ticket for the winning scooter. He was pretty excited, but after a bit he realized what had happened, so he gifted the scooter back to her (but he did keep the toothpaste, I think). She was overjoyed, and it was funny because earlier she had been debating whether or not to buy a scooter. She wasn't sure she wanted one of her own after riding on the back of her husband's.

All of this made the decision easier, of course, and she was very excited. Overall, it was a great story and she was a great candidate to win the bike.

you guys throw the BEST parties! and I'm not just saying that because I won 2 of the golden ticket items. Seriously, I don't know of any other shops that do what you guys do, year in, year out. You're the best! And damn entertaining too.

We left with no packages . Very disappointed. We should at least got toothpaste!

DOUBLES!

Norm, would you like some toothpaste? Cause I have a lot.

edited to add:

Plus I received a cheap blue plastic razor. I'll throw that in too.

You can have my toothpaste, It is expired and the taste is a bit off.

how can be?

$ .99 Store Toothpaste.

The Motul Oil is cool though.
Instructions in 18 languages.
The Label is like a primer of Languages of The World.

Someone has a connection with proctor and gamble here. Don't think it was from the $.99 store. I haven't tried it yet.

No thanks, I just use my finger on my teeth and a knife on my beard . Liz, you probably used that razor on your legs already.

What Liz said. I sometimes drop by Motorsport Scooters just to get a few laughs from the doods behind the counter. Its a plus that they'll now have even fresher breath and whiter teeth.

The yearly Motorsports-Rally-slash-Alex's-B-day-celebration has become a tradition for Dr. Mala and I. What would happen if y'all were to not have it? And the dice game was a freakin' blast! I hope it returns next year.

Lastly, I want it to be known that I prefer expired toothpaste.