turned me onto.
Quote:
This is completely inspired by the article found in the best of Craigslist...
Under the heading
best of Craigslist > Seattle-Tacoma > A few things from the bike shop.
I thank you, bike shop person...
Scooter people PLEASE READ!
Whoo-hoo Orange County, California! The sun is out! Let's discuss a few things before you waste your time and the scooter dealers time about scooters.
So yes, you've noticed the sun is out, and hey, maybe it would be cool to do some scooter riding. Gas prices are high, and scooters are kool.
I don't know what size or brand of scooter you need. I can ask questions and try to steer you into a good choice and fit. No one at this shop gets paid commission. We don't have any reason to try to dump something on you. The only thing I can tell over the phone is we sell scooters and our prices may be cheaper or more expensive then what the guy down the street sells. We carry reputable brands. I know you can buy a scooter that looks just like the ones we sell for $4,500.00 from some online place that will ship it to your front door, free of shipping charges for $1,400.00...we know this...it is NOT THE SAME scooter. I do not care what the guy who sold you the scooter said, "that all the parts are the same, and it is built in the same factory, and the motor parts are interchangeable"...guess what...he LIED to you. You cannot buy MERCEDES parts at the TOYOTA DEALER! Is this clear now? Please do not get upset when we refuse to fix the scooter you purchased at Pep Boys for $500.00 to solve your transportation problems. You were better off with a $250.00 bicycle, you fatty. Yes in the state of California you need a motorcycle license to drive a scooter on the street...that's what it says in the code book...even a 50cc.
SOME POINTERS FOR THE PHONE:
Don't get high and call me. Write it down, call me later. When I have two phone lines ringing, and have lots of people waiting for help, I do not have time for you sitting there "uuuuhhh"-ing and "uuummm"-ing while your brain tries to put together some cheeto-xbox-Vespa conundrum. We didn't get disconnected, I just left you on hold to figure your shit out.
We have 2 phone lines...so when you call and the voicemail picks up, that does not mean we are at the bar getting drunk or we are not at work at 2:00 PM. It means the phones are busy and leave message. If we did not return your call in a ½ hour...please accept my apology. We might be dealing with some real douche bags, even worse then you.
If you purchased a TOP CASE/or miscellaneous part or other accessories somewhere else and are calling or emailing us on how to install it, we'd appreciate have a little gratitude. We understand where you bought the part or accessory: A. Does not return you calls or B. has no idea what they sold you or how it works. You then saw our toll free # and thought "I'm calling these guys" and we are happy to help out to a point. Keep in mind, as this point you haven't bought anything from us. We don't technically work for FREE.
HERE IS WHERE YOU CROSS THE LINE AND WE PUT YOU ON HOLD...forever.
We are in no way associated with the losers you purchased the parts from. We are not part of a chain of scooter stores. Please DON'T CALL PISSED OFF AT US ABOUT SOMETHING YOU BROUGHT SOMEWHERE ELSE. I do not eat at Jack in The Box then drive to Del Taco to complain about it. Got it?
If some other place messed up your scooter, try to work it out with them. I'm not calling the shop you had your scooter poorly repaired at, to validate your cause...I DON'T HAVE TIME, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY
I need to see your scooter in person to know what is wrong with it. I CAN attempt make slight guesses on the really bad info you are giving me on the phone. I try to ask questions that will help you solve your technical problems. So please try to answer the questions I ask you instead of getting pissed at me cause your scooter sucks...i.e the one you did not buy from US. I cannot see through the phone what is going on in your garage. If I could do that, I would not be working in the SCOOTER business, DIG? I sometimes do not have the magical answer to your scooter problem. I cannot sit on the phone for 3 hours and explain to you how to fix your scooter. I just do not have the time. Don't take it personally. You've already figured out that when you car makes a noise, the mechanic needs to see it. When your TV goes blank, a technician needs to see it. I can tell you, if there is one thing I've learned, it's that "doesn't shift right" means your scooter could need a slight cable adjustment, or your motor needs to be pulled apart. Bring it in and I'll let you know for sure. We have told hundreds of people for FREE what the exact problem is with their scooter.
No, I don't know how much a good scooter costs. For some, spending $5,000 dollars is a small sum. For others, $500 is the whole life savings. You really need to have an idea of what you want and what you can spend. The less you spend on a scooter the more it's going to SUCK. Don't worry, you'll find out.
FOR YOU INVENTIVE TYPES AND DO-IT-YOURSELFERS:
Just because you think is should exist, doesn't mean that it actually does. I know that to you a bolt on kit that makes your 50cc scooter into a 250cc super freeway cruiser is common sense right? But in reality, what makes more sense is buying a SCOOTER that fits you in the first place, not trying to make your 50 cc, that was too small for you to begin with into that 250cc freeway cruiser.
If some twat on some message board, somewhere, says that you can use some exhaust pipe from Ebay to solve the starting problems with your scooter, it doesn't mean that A: you can, or B: you should. Please listen to me on this stuff, I really do have your best interest at heart. Otherwise, as explained before, I can't help you with your bad buying decisions.
I love that you have the enthusiasm to restore a vintage Vespa in the off-season. That does not mean however, that I share your enthusiasm. I'm here to help, but not come to your house for free and "finish it up" for you so we can hang out. I do not have the time, and again, please don't take it personally.
I can do the "final tweaks" or "adjustments" for you. We charge a hourly rate and it is hard to estimate the job when we have to take everything back apart. I can understand and know that you're in shock and disbelief that it has to come back apart especially when you did "everything right." Well, why did you have to call me and it's not working, if you did everything right? Oh yeah, for the simple 'adjustments it needs.' Please do not get mad at us. We did not put it together wrong, you and you cool friends did remember???
A DEDICATION TO ALL THE HIPSTER DOUCHEBAGS:
If you shitheads had any money, you wouldn't NEED a vintage VESPA to get laid. Go have an ironic mustache growing contest in front of American Apparel, so that I can continue selling parts and service to people with jobs, which is what keeps the lights on.
Being made in the 80's, may make something cool, but that doesn't automatically make something good. The reason that no one has ridden that "vintage" scooter is because it may very well be a piece of shit. If it was a piece of shit in the 80's, its probably no good still, because now it's a 30 year old piece of shit. That has had lots of real "smart people" work on it throughout its crappy life. What I meant to say is, no, I can't make it work better then what it originally was...It's still shit, even with a new chrome front rack.
SO YOU'RE GONNA BUY A SCOOTER:
Good for you! Scooters are fun and cool, especially the vintage Vespa scooters!
Your co-worker that's "really into scooters" knows fuck all. Stop asking for his advice. He could care less about you and you SCOOTER problems. He wants to validate his scooter knowledge through you. When you ask him the answers and they don't match up to my answers. 'I must be lying to you" I have nothing else to do. Just because you co-worker had a scooter 10 years ago does not make him an expert.
I like it when your friend "the scooter expert" has to fake his way through a conversation on a topic he has no idea what he's talking about. I just play along and choose my words so it 'looks like' he's the scooter expert cause, I do not what you and him to have a falling out, over something so trivial. Do I ever get a thank you for this? NO!! He also wants to sleep with you, and wear matching scooter jackets with you. Guess what, I don't...
The guy you purchased the Vintage Vespa 150 from, off of craigslist...the one who swears his dad restored it in the foreign county where he is from...lied to you...his dad is 78 and does not restore at least 10 scooters a week. That guy told the last 56 people the same story. Restored Vintage Vespas start at $5,000.00 in this shop and go up from there. If that guy sells them for $2,500.00, why do we not just buy those and sell them?? Because they are dog shit!! Before you part with your hard earned money for a CLASSIC VESPA, have someone who knows what they are doing, take a look at it. We do this for free and even find scooters for people in private party ads, not making any money from this small task...I actually love it when we advise someone NOT to buy a certain scooter he or she is interested in and they buy it anyway. Then he comes here and spends $2,500.00 on fixing his "RESTORED SCOOTER." Please don't listen to us it makes us more money dumb shit!
So you want a SCOOTER that you can ride to work, goes really fast, is good for the freeway, is good on side streets and carry your passengers, and costs less than $1,200? This does exist and we do not sell that here. I believe you will be disappointed in that purchase. The golden rule is, the cheaper your scooter costs, the more it's going to SUCK!
I hope this helps, ask questions and remember you receive what you get if you're an ASS we ain't too keen on helping you. Have fun this summer riding your kick-ass SCOOTER!
