Modern Vespa

What's the last thing you want to hear from a stripper while she's giving you a lap dance? "I have explosive diarrhea."

Are these always so coarse?

That's right Wes. Let's all just ride along on our scooters with our backs straight and our noses in the air, looking niether right nor left. C'mon, it's Saturday, and the sun is shining.

Listen folks. I know it was a little early in the morning for this one, but it has to last all day. Bon apatite.

I didn't find the joke particularly funny, but this is hilarious:

Explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting are always good for a laugh. Coarse? Of course!

Are you by any chance related to Oultondave???

Not with his substandard material he's not!!!

Hey, I'll put my jokes up against yours, any day of the week. And twice on Saturdays.

Make a start my lad, you've got around six months to catch up

Say, did you guys ever hear of this one??

A fellow went into a house of*******


OOPS, I can't even tell that on on MV.

Okay Oulton don't give me that I've been around here longer than you have baloney.
Next Saturday. A new joke from each of us. Let' rock.

Okay matey and whoever gets the most votes wins, you're on my lad!!!!!!!!!!!

Agreed. Good luck.

dave is waaaaaaay ahead in the 'tasteless forehead slap' stakes. you've got your work cut out for you mr. hart

There is a man named Oultondave
Who many consider a knave

That man JD Hart
Is ever so smart

But a good joke
He never can save

Somehow I don't quite think the iambic pentameter is working as well as it usually is

Sorry, I pulled third trick last night and am still woozy. It was quick and dirty and done without much thought.

Well with a Limerick, you have a little room for poetic licence.

I'm not sure how it would be classified, either anapaestic meter or amphibrachic.
Your call.

Either way, it's a goody!

there once was a joker called dave
who refused to conform or behave
his jokes were that bad
but now there's a lad
who claims he's the superior knave

Good one Genie.

On the topic of Dave and Limericks

There once was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
When people would stare
He'd say "Well look there"
Just think of the money I save

I have a few fans and I know it
Because they try as a poet

But if truth be known
Some always will groan

And give me red circles to show it

Nightwing when it comes to the limericks and poems, you are the man my friend.

According to some, Limericks are usually bawdy in nature. Nightwing's appear to be an exception.

As an example, this is one from the past:

There once was a man from Cass
Who's balls were made out of brass
When they clanged together
They played "Stormy Weather"
And lightning shot out of his ass

Credits to Billy Holliday and Harold Arlen, Re: Stormy Weather

I consider the audience and write appropriately. I grew up with and was inspired by the likes of:

Bang Bang Lulu

Casey Jones

Big Friggin' Wheel

So, to put it another way:

Bawdy or sweet whatever is neat
I'll give you the best I can do

But if you complain I'll do it again
And end with a big fuck you too

Touché

Damn. I had to edit, my spell check doesn't recognize French.