Modern Vespa

Joe wanted to buy a scooter. One day he comes across a 'modded up' Vespa with a For Sale sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is over 10 years old. It is in mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "Whenever the scooter is outside and it's going to rain, I rub Vaseline on the chrome.It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe the jar of Vaseline to put in his pocket.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents.

Naturally, they ride over on the scooter. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.''

"When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mum horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mum. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs her mum, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his scooter is out side, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts,







"All right, that's enough, I'll do the fucking dishes!"

Cripes, Dave, you've outdone yourself again.

I still think you're getting these jokes from the locals at your neighbourhood boozer's.

OK, I'll admit this one got me to laugh out loud--the real thing not the dumbass internet thingamajig.

P.

Thanks gents, just waiting for Mr Hart to respond!

Do i sense a little competition going on here?

Well, it was supposed to be ...

Looks like I win by default!!!!!

It's a cracker.