OP
UTC

Hooked
'08 Siena Ivory LXV
Joined: UTC
Posts: 336
Location: New York
 
Hooked
'08 Siena Ivory LXV
Joined: UTC
Posts: 336
Location: New York
UTC quote
WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY...

LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT MORNING.

I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME.

AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY."

I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL REMEMBER.

MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I LEFT FOR
THE OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT.

AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING, BOSS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"


IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED.

I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME."

I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY.
LET'S GO!"

WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO.

WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO
MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?"

I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?"

SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT."

AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF
YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."

"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED.

SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".

AND I JUST SAT THERE...

ON THE COUCH...

NAKED.
@jdsski avatar
UTC

Hooked
GTS 300 Super
Joined: UTC
Posts: 150
Location: New York
 
Hooked
@jdsski avatar
GTS 300 Super
Joined: UTC
Posts: 150
Location: New York
UTC quote
Laughing emoticon
@masala avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
946
Joined: UTC
Posts: 6165
Location: Acworth, GA
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@masala avatar
946
Joined: UTC
Posts: 6165
Location: Acworth, GA
UTC quote
Ouch.
@oultondave avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
Blue 70th anniversary Vespa GTS 300
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1302
Location: Leeds, Yorkshire, England
 
Molto Verboso
@oultondave avatar
Blue 70th anniversary Vespa GTS 300
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1302
Location: Leeds, Yorkshire, England
UTC quote
Too late mate, I fired her monyths ago for exactly the same reason!! Razz emoticon
@astromags avatar
UTC

Veni, Vidi, Posti
'80 P200E, '76 Primavera 125 ET3. '59 Vespa 150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 6897
Location: GT, Texas
 
Veni, Vidi, Posti
@astromags avatar
'80 P200E, '76 Primavera 125 ET3. '59 Vespa 150
Joined: UTC
Posts: 6897
Location: GT, Texas
UTC quote
SCREAMING!
@spartan1984 avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
2017 Ducati Supersport S, 2014 Kawasaki Concours
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1023
Location: Murrieta, California
 
Molto Verboso
@spartan1984 avatar
2017 Ducati Supersport S, 2014 Kawasaki Concours
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1023
Location: Murrieta, California
UTC quote
ROFL emoticon ROFL emoticon ROFL emoticon That is freaking hilarious!!!
@nightwing avatar
UTC

Contributor
2007 LX 150 (memories)
Joined: UTC
Posts: 8577
Location: New Hampshire
 
Contributor
@nightwing avatar
2007 LX 150 (memories)
Joined: UTC
Posts: 8577
Location: New Hampshire
UTC quote
This is my favorite secretary. If you are into kink...rent it.
Forum member supplied image with no explanatory text
UTC

Molto Verboso
PX200E X 2
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1934
Location: Lake Monticello
 
Molto Verboso
PX200E X 2
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1934
Location: Lake Monticello
UTC quote
that was great ROFL emoticon
@orange_s150 avatar
UTC

Molto Verboso
S 150, VNB 150, 101 Allstate, 01 ET2
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1488
Location: CT
 
Molto Verboso
@orange_s150 avatar
S 150, VNB 150, 101 Allstate, 01 ET2
Joined: UTC
Posts: 1488
Location: CT
UTC quote
well that would be awkward. Laughing emoticon Laughing emoticon Laughing emoticon
@nickie avatar
UTC

Hooked
Joined: UTC
Posts: 229
Location: Florida
 
Hooked
@nickie avatar
Joined: UTC
Posts: 229
Location: Florida
UTC quote
Holy sh--
I laughed so hard, now I have to clean this soda pop off my keyboard and monitor!
@imwithhappy avatar
UTC

Addicted
06 GT200(black graphite)
Joined: UTC
Posts: 603
Location: OKC ,OK
 
Addicted
@imwithhappy avatar
06 GT200(black graphite)
Joined: UTC
Posts: 603
Location: OKC ,OK
UTC quote
NightWing wrote:
This is my favorite secretary. If you are into kink...rent it.
great. movie.
@knight_train avatar
UTC

Ossessionato
2017 BMW R1200GS and 2010 Vespa GTS 250 (shared)
Joined: UTC
Posts: 4213
Location: San Diego
 
Ossessionato
@knight_train avatar
2017 BMW R1200GS and 2010 Vespa GTS 250 (shared)
Joined: UTC
Posts: 4213
Location: San Diego
UTC quote
Thats a funny story. Hope for your sake it wasn't close to true.
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