Modern Vespa

After riding my scooter about 140 miles in the last two days I had a few moments to think about the upcoming apocalypse. What scooter would be best for avoiding the zombie, meteor, earthquake doom that looms ahead?

Is the nimbleness of a 150cc the best for dodging zombies? Can it go fast enough to keep out of their range? What is a zombies top speed? How nimble is a zombie anyway?

Can I shoot out a zombies brain from a 150cc or do I need a larger scooter or a smaller gun?

How about meteors or earthquakes? Would a larger wheels help?

How about a 250? Would that provide a more stable ride when weaving through car-choked highways as me and my two fat dogs try to flee?

What is in your Apocalypse Emergency pack, besides vodka and cans of Chef Boyardee?

A little input might help!

Not knowing which specific model, I would suggest a scooter that you could wrench on yourself, hold together with bailing wire, find spare parts laying around in the desert and fuel with some veggie oil. Those things seem more important than speed and power. I think even Mad Max might agree on that!

Desi B.

Interesting you post this....was just discussing with my wife (also a scooterist) and adult son after an episode of "The Colony" the other night....

I would think a lightweight, dual-sport bike would be best. Able to keep rolling when the highway ends, drive over rubble without damage, ford water crossings, etc.

In the event of some apocalyptic event, I'd leave my scooters in the garage
( were it still standing) and grab my DR650.

My money is on an ATV.

Hmm. Maybe something with larger wheels like a BV for tougher terrain but on the other hand a vintage Vespa that kick-starts might be good because you don't need to worry about the battery. A Vespa 150. T.A.P. with it's 75mm cannon would be cool for blasting Zombies.

Personally, I'd choose a Vespa P125X with a DR177 kit on it for a post-apocalyptic world. When the cyborgs take out all our electronic devices with EMP charges, all of our modern Vespas will become doorstops, and only the vintage bikes with mechanical ignition systems will still be functional. Plus, the P series are arguably the easiest Vespas to work on, and the P125X still runs on points rather than an electronic ignition module, and it still gets decent fuel mileage with a decent amount of power with the DR177 kit. My biggest concern would be where to find gas and 2-stroke oil, but I imagine that it might be possible to use homebrewed moonshine and cold pressed vegetable oil in a pinch...

I nominate Glasseye's Chucky as "Scooter best for the Apocalypse."

Body of a Skipper 150, Heart of a 250 Beast.
Just needs to paint it all black and it's home in a Mad Max flick.

And as a bonus, it will kill you on Apocalypse Day Two, rendering you blissfully ignorant of the trials and tribulations to come.

Beat me to it.

Andy: But we're friends to the end, remember?
Chucky Scooter: This is the end!

I'd ditch the scooter and go for a horse, come the apocalypse. They run on grass, can ford rivers and go over dirt and fences. Plus, they'll make noise if a zombie is coming up while you're sleeping.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure a hungry zombie would just as soon eat your horse while you're asleep. The scooter, not so much.

yep, wreckage may be an issue.

Okay I lifted that last photo from this thread that I just found. Best stuff starts on page 2.

http://totalruckus.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=9484

Lots of good ideas for any kind of End of Days.

Figures those dang Ruckus scoots have that whole Apocalypse thing figured out.

Thanks to one of my Cannonball sponsors, Modern Vespa, my ruckus can go 300 mi on a tank

A 150 super would be my choice.

Something w/o belts or muffler gaskets...

I would have said the Stella 4T but it looks like the zombie apocalypse will be upon us before that gets ok'd for sale...

Dry Fly Gin from Spokane WA......for me, to help battle them!!!

Funny, I wrote a story about this once and, at the time, I chose the Honda Helix for reliability, availibility of parts (which I figured could be scrounged from warehouses for years to come), and that huge trunk in the back which I figured could carry a lotta food and ammo.

Or your horse could become zombified which would suck. Dirtbikes would be good but quiet scooters might be better. MP3's would be a good choice. Plenty of storage & 3 wheels for tough terrain. Most likely one would be barricaded somewhere, longing to ride to an unaffected place.

I don't have one (yet), but I would think a mana 850 with knobby tires would be ideal. Nimble and quick, with touring ability. Maybe mount some guns on the front japanese anime style, for squashing said zombies would be cool. btw, I live in New Orleans, and the filmed that show here. Well, in Chalmette, a few minutes away. Very weird show. I don't understand the concept. I saw the first episode, where they get challenged by a group of outsiders for their medical supplies, and they were merely pushing each other around. In rwal life people would be swinging those poles at peoples heads. So, as far as a social experiment goes... thumbs down, good for tv, well...its better than american idol, so you think you can dance, america's got talent, hell's kitchen, etc, etc, etc
but my money is still on the mana

Pam - In case you missed it, I took a screen shot of your info while you were at 666 posts.

Remember Vespa was born just after a war to deal with the messed up roads, dirt and debris left all around. Any vespa would be great for the escape and post apocalyptic world. I think the zombies wouldn't attack a Vespa they'll just be like wow that's niiiice, I go and eat that mug riding a honda over there instead. (well in my directors cut anyway.)

For various reasons, I was giving the subject (sans the zed word of course) of a Post Apocalyptic World probably too much thought just last week. Between watching the BBC series "Survivors" and dealing with the Gas Strike here in Greece first hand, it really got me thinking about what that world might be like. Regardless of what scooter you have, I'd just be glad to have a two wheeler, and was very glad to have had one during the gas strike. Props to the independant gas station owners on Crete that allowed those of us on bikes to skip the que altogether and go directly to the pumps on the days that they made petrol available during the strike.

IMHO...an off trail bike (i.e. mountain bike). Lightweigth (times when you'd end up carrying over terrain) with a decent set of off road tires (no road tires). You'll probably need to negotiate terrain that would not lend it self to road riding.

Believe that while transport is a concern in the scenario of an apocalyptic event...more important is self defense...having a tactical shotgun (for shock and awe) to keep bad people away and a side arm as a back up.

Then comes the basics:

Shelter...either a tent / tarp tent (know how to construct one). Exposure is your greatest concern of survival.

Water know where to scavange or find water and to treat for safe consumption. Filtration / purification...learn how to do both.

Food know some basic on scavaging (live off land), setting snares, fish for food (if available).

The world as we know it will not be the same and the bare essentials of survival will need to apply....it won't be pretty.

not sure where you are planning on getting fuel for this machine after the "end of civilization". very hard to pump with out electricity. I would suggest getting a horse!

For a while you could hand pump fuel out of gas station tanks. A carburated scooter could be re-jetted to run on moonshine. Tires would eventually be a problem.

These are very different scenarios and I don't think one scooter is necessarily best for all. For instance, in the event if zombies, most if the infrastructure will still be in place. Roads will be navigable for years to come. Also, zombie outbreaks are easily contained. Swine flu is an airborne virus with easily-disguised symptoms and it most of us avoided getting it. So, for zombies: Anything that gets you the hell away while using the least gas.

Meteor: Scooters will be the least of our worries.

Earthquake: Think I'll need a boat.

...and yet Nostradamus said we'd be living on Mars someday,
Doomsday? Who am I supposed to believe now, Damn it!!!

It'll most likely be an anti grav Vespa speeder

I just can't wait to buy one

Tesla?

Damn they killed Tesla before he could invent it.

A burro... definitely a burro.

For some reason I envision a duct-taped Honda Elite. Don't know why but the a rugged looking Elite was the first image that poped into my head when I read the original post.

Although I think I'd want something along the lines of one of these for the end of days...

(Honda MUV BigRed)

(John Deere Gator)

Remember the Mayan calendar ends 12/12/2012 So get your affairs in order and your MRE'S together

Is it 12/12 Hawaii time or Eastern time? What about Tokyo? Would it be 12/11 there or 12/13?

+1

As rising sea levels must surely be part of an impending apocalyptic event I think I will opt for a 'water' scooter (me and a certain K Costner ....ahem)

Yes...But did you know that they could have calculated "Billions" of years if they wanted to?

I just loved "Waterworld" ....And the "Smokers"

Lol

Mayans are in the Central time zone.

BTW, the date is actually 12/21/2012, is the end of a 1,872,000-day cycle since the creation of the world. (A nine day reprieve! What will you do with it?)

The Mayan apocalypse falling on 12/12/12 of our modern calendar would be an amazing and slightly unsettling coincidence.

Excellent news! Means I get an extra hour to prepare...

Seems like the Mayan apocalypse happened a long time ago...