Modern Vespa

I was less then ten minutes from my office when a cop car that had been driving behind me for a while suddenly tweaked his siren a couple of times and announced over his loudspeaker "Vespa Adooma... Amode Batzad" ('Red Vespa, [pull over and] stand on the shoulder').

I must admit that I was completely stumped as to why I was being pulled over. I'd been alone on the road for most of the last hour, and maaaaay have been pushing the speed limit just a tiny bit for some of that time [~ahem~].

But since entering the more heavily travelled outskirts of the largish city where I work, I had been keeping with the flow of traffic and riding like a good boy.

I put the scooter up on the stand and waited for the policeman, who I assumed would be getting out of his car and coming over. Apparently that's not how it's done here. He glared at me from inside his car and motioned impatiently for me to come over.

So I got out my license, registration and insurance info and walked back to where he had pulled over a few yards behind me.

I asked him what the problem was, and he responded "You know why I stopped you. You were driving recklessly." When I didn't respond, and simply stared at him in utter confusion, he took my documents from my hand and added contemptuously, "Wow, you're dangerous... you drive like a crazy person and don't even know it!".

He took my license and other stuff and began typing on the computer in his car.

While he was doing that (and pretty much ignoring me as I stood out in the cold), another cop pulled up... this one on a big maxi-scooter. He parked and dismounted, and asked the cop inside the car what was going on. The cop inside the car jerked a thumb in my direction and said "This one couldn't ride in a straight line... I'm about to check if he's drunk".

The scooter cop looked me up and down. I was wearing an expensive armored jacket, gloves, clean pressed slacks, nice shoes... and holding a full face helmet.

He responded, "At 7:00 in the morning? I doubt it!". But just the same, he walked over, took off his own helmet, and stood extremely close to me before asking me where I was going. I told him I was on my way to my office, and mentioned the name of the well known defense company I work for... unzipping my jacket and flashing my ID badge by way of proof.

Having sniffed the air near my face while I was talking and taken a close look at my ID tag, he asked the cop inside the car if I had any moving violations in the system. The cop looked at his screen and answered 'no'.

The scooter cop then asked when my license had been issued, and after a brief pause the answer from inside the car came back reluctantly; "1983".

With that, the scooter cop seemed to come completely over to my side. "Okay", he began... "if I understand this correctly, you 'caught' a citizen with no violations in almost 30 years of driving. What exactly did he do?".

From his tone of voice, as well as the fact that he seemed to be much older than the guy inside the car, it seemed to me that the scooter cop was the more senior man.

The cop inside the car answered, "He was swerving all over his lane like a drunk person and pumping his brakes... I thought he was going to run into someone or cause an accident". The scooter cop looked at me with a raised eyebrow, and when I nodded 'yes' and started to explain, he raised a gloved hand to cut me off.

He leaned into the car and asked "By any chance was he 'swerving all over his lane like a drunk person and pumping his brakes' right back there before the curve in the road?"

The cop inside the car answered in the affirmative. So the scooter cop continued, "And did you notice that just before he started 'swerving all over his lane like a drunk person and pumping his brakes' that he'd gone through a deep pothole filled with water?".

The cop inside the car now seemed to sense a problem, and didn't answer.

"If you'd been driving behind me just now, you would have seen me 'swerving all over my lane like a drunk person and pumping my brakes' . You know why? Because that's how we dry off the sides of our tires and clean the water off our brakes!"

With that the scooter cop held out his hand to the other cop for my paperwork and license... gave them back to me without even looking up, and waved me back towards my scooter with a dismissive wave of his hand.

As I was walking away I could hear the scooter cop now yelling into the open window; "... bored in your nice warm car? Maybe you should take some lessons and get a motorcycle license before bothering citizens on their way to work!"

It's lunchtime, and I'm still smiling.

Quality story of an idiot who does not know what they are talking about, one that I think we all know too well.

I'm smiling for you too!

Superb

'nother great story Trep. It's like we're there with you

Don't know about your cops but we get prats like that over here, and they wonder why they lose public respect ?

It's funny, but I considered talking about Israeli cops, but decided against it. When I lived in the US, the sight of a cop car behind me would get my heart beating fast and my hands sweating, even if I was doing nothing wrong.

But here nobody is really worried about being pulled over that way. There isn't the same 'distance' between police and civilian as in the US.

That being said, the cops here are much more middle eastern and can often forget the nicities of 'serve and protect' that is part and parcel of US Law Enforcement Officer's crede.

While I would be hesitant to argue with a cop at a traffic stop in the states, here I would certainly try to state my case. This time I didn't have a clue what I'd done supposedly so it was a good thing the scooter cop came along.

Excellent! You were lucky the biker cop was passing though as you would have had a rough time otherwise.

Why do you think I'm smiling!

Happy ending story. Thanks for sharing!

Haha, brilliant. I'd have been wetting myself with terror until Good Cop showed up. Hurrah for scooting policemen!

That's great! Lucky day with the smarter officer there!

I've often wondered in my moving around in my lane would constitute "swerving". I do it position myself in the corners (old racing habit of hitting the apex - in my lane), but also to present a bit of left to right and right to left movement if I'm on a straight road (that I read in some report) to increase visibility. Then there is the movement to avoid the worst of the road imperfections...
I guess that if I haven't already been pulled over for this stuff, I'm probably OK.

Great!! I'm smiling, too!

Great story Trep. What a schmuck.

I'm still smiling. . .

Sort of makes me wish we had scooter cops around here.

Great story.

Karma came up and not only bit that guy on the ass, but chewed him up and pooped him out for good measure.

Glad you had a knowledgeable protector in the other cop. I would have gotten that officer's name and sent a letter in praising his professionalism. It would have gone into his service file.

Trep, you're in the wrong line of work. You should be an author instead of a defense contractor.

If only we could all have a scooter cop behind us.

Ok, excellent story!


But thinking it over...clearly the 1st cop didn't understand why you were "swerving"...and clearly he could have been NICER when he pulled you...but can we blame him for pulling you over if, in his eyes, you were in fact acting recklessly?

I think several lessons can be pulled from this story. First, the cop has learned that not all "swerving" scooterists are drunk.

But secondly, I think it reminds us all that if we're going to clean our brakes with this method, at least be cognizant of how it looks---*especially* to a cop who's driving right behind us.

If you'd been more cognizant of that maneuver and how it looks to non-scooterists, you would not only have probably been able to guess *why* you'd been pulled over, but then also be able to explain why to the cop.

The way the jerk was acting, he might not have listened, but it would certainly have been worth a shot.

My $0.02. Again, great story, glad it worked out!


Michael

Adding my voice to the others, great story Trep! And informative too, I didn't know that bit about drying the tires and brakes, thanks!

I'm smiling for you too

That my friend, is no way to live.

I will fight/pay the ticket before I start worrying what ignorant people think I am doing.

Yay scooter cop
Trep, you've got some of the most interesting stories.

Don't you just love it when that happens ?

What a wonderful story. I bet those words will be ringing in his empty head for the rest of his career.

Thanks for broadcasting it.

Bill X

Wow - how rare is that!

I thoroughly enjoyed that story.

That's fair.


But I guess it raises a bigger question--how much should we expect non-scooterists to know about scooter maneuvering? Like Ms. Scooty (above), I didn't know about that trick. Now that I know--I'm supposed to be indignant if someone who's never owned a scooter doesn't know?

Shrug.


Michael

You seem to have missed the point.

Why should expect the average person to understand my behavior?

The gallant officer, on the other hand, had better damn well know what is normal behavior for a motorcyclist, it is his damn job.

If you were unaware of the technique, I believe it is outlined in "Proficient Motorcycling" or covered in your State's equivalent of a Motorcycle Safety Course.

While the average person who will never ride a scooter or a motorcycle, and who thinks bicycles are toys, does not need to know how to dry off their brakes...

you do.

Because ignorance can kill you.

Luckily the Met Police (London UK) require everyone going into Traffic to first complete their own (Met) 3-week motorcycle training before they progress any further. Most then get the bug and become riders themselves, so most Traffic Rats are sympathetic to the PTW community.

I can see both sides of the situation. Still, it was unfortunate that the one officer dressed down the other in front of the scooterist. The conversation could have been in private and the documents returned with a pleasant "Everything seems in order. Drive Safely."

Why not see an officer as a human being? In any job, IMO, it's best to handle a situation privately. However the PTW cop may have been senior, but not a supervisor, and he kept it real. If the op story is even 50 present accurate as to tone, junior had it coming.....

Good work, raconteur! 8)

.

Trepp........


A very very interesting story!

Well done you for keeping your cool !!


Fabio

.

Ya, I hear you man. If a cop is expected to ticket scooters and MCs, he should understand what's appropriate and what's not.

I'd read about pumping breaks to get the water off, but not about the side-to-side thing. But I'm sure I'd be as angry at the cop as most of the people on this thread if I'd myself become accustomed to using that technique.

But I'm still going to recognize that I'm weaving when I do it, especially if a cop is tailing me

Michael

I often weave just for the fun of it. Nothing wrong in that. "Practising slalom Officer!" The dotted white lines in the road are ideal markers for this game.

... I often weave to wear the "square" edges off my roadbike tyres after a highway run and before I get to twisties, or periodically on a flat/straight run to take the edge of both tyres and boredom ... had the odd "stop having fun!" wave from the highway patrol, but at least out on Aussie backroads, and most freeways, it's usually accompanied by a grin.

when I weave on my vespa, it's just coz I can

"Swerving" implies unnecessary cornering to the point of (almost) losing grip. "Weaving", on the other hand is riding in a sinuous fashion in order to condition the tyres (warm them up, get the water off etc).

I'd say that there was no swerving going on, but there would have been some weaving...

Had the "junior" cop tried to make any kind of citation stick, he would have had to PROVE that the manouever was dangerous. Was his car fitted with video recording equipment???

Bob

Like JimC says, making some turns within the lane is a lot of fun.

Sometimes I will swerve approaching a red-light, hoping to time it right and avoid putting my feet down. As I do this, I think of the movie where the A/C carrier travels back in time to just before Pearl Harbor: The modern fighter jets have to swerve to stay behind the Zeros. Yeah, I am cool like time traveling jet pilots. Oh yeah.

Do note this thread is 17 months old...

I noticed that lol. But it's new to me, and wow what a story!

It was linked on another thread.

That scooter story was so much better than that whole Larry Crowne thing.